what is life all about

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everyone say i was a genius when i was little.
went to primary school and realised I'm just an average kid. got bullied and survived
went to high school and got derpession and anxiety. got bullied again and survived again
almost failed year11, but study damn hard in year12 becoz I had a dream of becoming a doctor.
i got into both medicine and dentistry. my parents and my bf were all opposing me doing medicine.
since parents are the one paying for it, the doctor dream's gone.
dentistry is not too bad, i trained myself to love teeth.
so where does life go now...

i finish dentistry and marry my bf who I don't even like.
i don't even know why im with him
maybe becoz he was the only one who got close to me, the anxious, depressed and weird girl.
becoz he persued me like crazy
becoz he's a doctor
or what? i don't know.
had three kids becoz my husband want to
earn money from looking at people's teeth from day to night, which is not too bad
bring the kids up, give them the best education, the most expensive private school and the best tutor
they grew up and got married or unmarried
i got old and still looking at people's teeth
with a husband i love becoz i've been with him for so long
and where does life goes now
i don't know what life is about

earn lots of money from looking at ppl's teeth
and spend the money
and what is life about

do i really love my bf. yes, after all these years i do
but I've never like him in a romantic way.

oh ya, life sounds awesome
future dentist
and a doctor bf who really really want to marry me

oh life sounds awesome
and i freaking don't know what is this all about
why did i even bother to study so hard in year12

why am i on earth
why didn't my parents had sex one hour later, then there won't be me
why did they decided to have sex at that particular point in time
why didn't my mum refused my dad so half of me will ended up in the shower

why?

*comforting hugs*

i guess 56 seroquel tablet is quite enough

speaking of drugs,
make sure this isn't just the drugs making you depressed.
could just be an adverse reaction.

you said you've only started taking the seroquel recently ?

ya, it's anti-psychotic and put me to sleep.
so 56 should be able to put me to sleep forever.

Awwwwh!!
What?! No, spit those out right now ! !! !!

Would like to give a sensate answer, Too tired now, For the moment I say that I desperately try to find out if there is some minimal, minimal slice of common ground for communication between a "normal" and an ASD and between ASDs, without falling in a compromise fake pretending to be interested in things that are of no relevance to an ASD, like talking of politics or (horror, horror!) sport (once i liked to see Steffy Graf playing, but she is not around anymore).
Read you later, I hope.

Theres no rule in the book that says you have to marry anyone and have kids. I for one plan to retire in years time with a long list of zany ex BF's and a few illegitimate children to different fathers .

You can be a free and independant woman on a dentists wage! I'd be travelling everywhere!!

[morbid and factual]56 Seroquel won't kill you, but you'll be sleeping alright. You need lots of sedatives, more than what you'd be prescribed (unless you're a celebrity), and lots of alcohol.

The most reliable and easiest way to die is to go to the top of a building in a city, and jump off it and pretend you can fly.[/morbid and factual]

Yes, my psychiatrist and I were discussing suicide in one session, when he brought up how he'd like to go out via the way animals get put down (OD on barbiturates), and how medication prescribed now won't do it (plus pharmacies know how much you get out of a certain drug as it's on their computers).

As for life, it's doing whatever you find enjoyable. Or, there's no objective meaning at all, and it's only subjective.

there is no intent here to be mean when i point out that there is little use in committing suicide, because the problems you deferred by truncating this lifetime will still be there the next go-round, and with interest accrued. there is no way around one's problems except THROUGH them.

Yeah, that's the downside of reincarnation. You don't "get" to come back, you have to.

To answer your question and not delving into your post:

Life is about taking what resources you got and making something out of it. You do not have to live your life like everyone else and do exactly what everyone else do. Just make your life as comfortable as you can - without being an ass onto others.

As a somewhat STRIDENT Atheist, this life - this here right now, is the only thing we get. It would be a big waste not to live it and explore whatever possibilities there are in life. Suicide is basically saying "I quit - you win", a belief shared also by Henry Rollins (See bottom of post).

Also, do not let evil people do whatever they wanted and just say like the sheepish religious people - "they get what they deserve in hell" - sorry, for me there is no hell, evil people need to be punished NOW or else others will do as they did. Speak up! Draw a line in the sand! Make a stand!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhvlAoUCVso[/youtube]

well 3 seroquels are usually enough for me to go to sleep. But 56???? Please don't try anything silly. If you ever need someone to talk to, you can drop me a pm. The thing with life is that only by becoming someone who lives for something more than him/her self, can we find meaning in it. Living for something more than yourself. I suppose that's different for everyone. I guess only you can figure out what that is...

I think that life is about doing something that you like both in the working hours and in the free time and being around people that you like. It may be hard to find the things out there that you like, and you may need some help in the process. I need a lot of therapy until I discovered that I had to change somethings in my live. Good Luck

And don´t take all those pills!

Life is making yourself happy, and doing the things that you enjoy, and if you take those pills, you might not be able to do that, again.

life is what we all agreed to, before conscious memory.