Need help repressing bad memories

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It's nothing bad but I had some real serious problems getting along with a roommate in college. She was pissed at me over a lot of things. I admit I did make some mistakes and I do misunderstand her repeatedly, and I even try pleasing her but I still do something to piss her off. I tried to tell her that it was all a misunderstanding and that I cant help some of my flaws with my AS but she didnt care. (My explanations were jumbled with frustration and anger so that didnt help me I guess).

Anyway it was only for one semester and I couldnt take her domineering hypocritical behavior anymore so I moved out. I wished I hadnt. If I had known she had the same idea I would've held out but it was mentally hurting too much to share a room with her. She was saying mean things and was posting celebratory notes in full view of me of how I was moving out. To add insult to injury, I come back to the room after staying the night elsewhere and I find that she dumped my massively huge TV on my bed and left me a friendly-insulting holiday greeting thanking me for moving out. (She had already went home for Winter Break when this happened). Then I hear from a friend (who's good friends with her fiance) that she's pissed at me for not telling her I was leaving. Which I think it's stupid because she wanted me to leave as it was. By this time I no longer cared. For all my faults, if I hadnt been terrified of her I could've stayed and made her life miserable. She deserved no less than that. (Although I did learn that the roommate that replaced me the following semester was someone she didnt get along with either. So there was a tiny bit of Karma in that.)

Anyway for some reason the memories of that time have gotten to repetitive and unwilling to leave my mind as of late. I mean this incident happened almost 5 years ago and it hasnt always been this stuck in my mind. I think about it from time to time but for the past month it's gotten too severe where it's all I ever think about it and of course increases depression. It's even cutting into my concentration and my ability to function which is kinda bad. I just started my last academic quarter of tech school today, I dont want this to go on for the next three months.

It's gonna be real tough for me to keep my mind off of this. It's gotten a little too deep. I could really use some help before it gets down to that road where I really do feel like it was all my fault and I'm a terrible person and my depression gets far and far more worse.

Thanks for any advice I can take. It is greatly appreciated.

Repressed memories still affect your behavior and conscious mind, raisedbyignorance. Even if you did manage to block those memories, they're still influencing your mind, albeit in a more covert way. Locking them up is a poor way of dealing with them. Is it that you believe this is your only option?

No! I'm just saying that I want these memories to bothering me 24/7 like they have been for weeks. If you have a better option other than repressing the memories than let me hear them.

I have that same problem.

How about you detach yourself from them?

Ok...well...how do I go about it doing that?

I'm asking for specifics here.

Here is a strategy that has worked for me.

I set aside a block of an hour or two to do nothing other than think about what is bothering me. I try to brainstorm ideas for steps that could be taken to fix the situation. Even if the ideas are stupid, I write them down. Then I leave the list and go about my business for a couple of days and just let the ideas percolate. Sleep is good for solving problems, they say. When I feel calm, I go over the list and see if any of the ideas are worth trying. If none are, then at least I've explored my options and can say "screw it" with a clear conscience. After that, I find something engaging enough to keep me busy for a while, some project or favorite music or movie, whatever, and stick like glue to an exercise schedule and make sure I'm eating and sleeping right. Repeat as necessary.

I chipped a tooth on a beer bottle years ago. It was just a tiny chip couldn't even see it, but my tongue just wouldn't leave the jagged surface of tooth alone until months later, when it had been worn smooth. Thoughts are like that, too--for me at least. If my mind just won't leave something alone, it seems to help if I set aside regular time to think about it or read about it or write about it--something constructive that still lets me get it out of my system. By making the decision to devote time to it, I take control over it instead of it taking control of me.

i would see if shes on facebook then teller her off, get some closure

repressing memories doesn't solve anything.

I did tell her off on LJ after she had the nerve to pretend to be nice and take part in a discussion I was having in an LJ Community. I know she replied back after that because I got an email notification but I never bothered to look at the reply or waste my time reading it. If you knew how she was, you wouldnt have wasted your time either.

Ok enough with the "repressing memories doesnt work" replies people!! ! I get it!! !

I know only how to detach from emotions, not memories. Try this, and see if it helps. Maybe your memories are returning repeatedly because of the strong emotions associated with them.

This is perhaps the absolute most useful technique you will ever learn in life. Everyone reading this post needs to write down the following two paragraphs and commit them to memory.

When experiencing emotions that are hindering you in some way, observe them in third person. Become aware of the fact "this person" is experiencing these emotions, and state to yourself what those emotions are doing. For example, if someone is furious over something, they can stop, become aware of the emotions, and may say something to the effect of: "This rage is strong. It's floating there, bubbling with energy, glowing red hot like it's literally burning. The rage now seems to be. . . lessening. It's definitely decreasing in power." Etc.

And why would that rage suddenly begin decreasing in power? Emotions require your submission to them in order to live. If you step outside of yourself and observe them in a scientific manner, their fuel source will quickly run out.

Let me know if this can help you in this situation.

I'll be honest guys. I'm getting very frustrated. None of the ideas I'm getting seem helpful or are making any sense. The only one whose idea comes close to decent is cuturebra's.

Thanks anyway though.

Seriously?

Rather than telling your former roomate off, perhaps trying to forgive her might work a little better. You said that: 1. You lived with this person 5 years ago, but you and your roomate didn't get along.
2. You've contacted her fairly recently and you stated that she pretended to be nice. She sent you an email but you didn't read it.

5 years is a long time. Young people can mature an awful lot in that time. If you can, contact her and offer the olive branch. Your ex-roomate may have already buried the hatchet a long time ago. She might even apologise for treating you badly. You'll have closure and you can move on.

2. is incorrect. The situation where I told her off was like a year after I moved out so it was still a pretty long time ago (4 years ago I believe).

Like I said before I have a friend who is good friends with her fiancee and they hang out all the time. My friend has met my ex roommate in person a couple times recently and from what he has personally witnessed and what stories he has been hearing from his friend (which he would then tell me), it definitly does not sound like she has changed or matured at all. I do remember that this guy was basically treated like a doormat by her whenever he was in our room and it seems like it's gotten worse since then. It's quite shocking how she treats him and it's rather unusual in a lot of ways that they've been engaged since graduating high school (maybe earlier than that) and still havent tied the knot. That's a good sign that their relationship is seriously messed up.

I'm sorry about sounding harsh in my last response but as I said, I'm still all kinds of frustrated and nothing seems to be working to get these thoughts to go away. I'm just gonna try and deal with this on my own.

I'm glad I came close to decent and sorry it wasn't enough