07 Aug 2010, 6:33 pm
I seem to have a very low threshold for meltdowns. Here's my problem...
I live with my aunt, and for the most part we get along pretty well, and while we do have a few areas of contention, we both try to avoid them as much as possible. I, for some reason just can't hold back my emotions sometimes. All day long she might get irritated (she has pretty high anxiety) about something slam a door, stomp her feet as she walks, or swear to herself about things. Now, all day long as she does this, every door that slams, every little hint of frustration she shows, somehow effects me and builds up. I feel like there is some sort of siphon that just sucks it right up to be saved for later. So now by the end of the day I feel like my nervous system is at its limit and any little trigger topic that, earlier, would have rolled off my shoulders, now becomes some sort of monolithic obstruction that I can't get over. I break down crying, I can't communicate how I feel, I say things I regret and don't mean, its just a mess and I feel like I'm at my limit for controlling my reactions. I hurt the people I love, and I hurt myself (not physically).
I don't even know what to do. I've tried explaining to her how she just needs to be less critical of me and stop picking at things, but she just doesn't get that my threshold for this is so low and keeps poking at me. The clothes I wear, how unorganized I talk sometimes, or how something completely "under the bridge" still bothers her and that she still doesn't understand why I did or said something. I don't have enough income to move out or enough executive functioning to even hold a job, also I would rather if we could just avoid things like this and get along better. But I just always feel like I'm being attacked and picked on, and while at the same time I also think I might just be overreacting to everything. I do have very sensitive senses (hearing, touch, and sight) hearing being the most sensitive, so I often wonder if that has something to do with me feeling like my nervous system is in high-gear. Either way, I don't know what to do, I don't understand myself, and I don't understand her. I feel like everything I do annoys, upsets, or insults the people around me, yet I feel helpless to change myself. I feel so hypersensitive to everything, like every noise or bright light somehow adds to my anxiety level.
I don't have any official DX aside from ADD which I got when I was 5 and the people I'm seeing now all believe I fall somewhere in the lines of pdd-nos, hfa, or asperger's. I'm heading out for thorough testing in a few weeks, I might possibly have a seizure disorder as well, hopefully they can help me.
... But yeah, meltdowns as an adult.. anyone have problems in this area? How do you cope? How do you explain yourself to your family? My family is quite uninformed and not all that interested in becoming so, which makes it even more difficult. I have a hard enough time talking at all, never mind explaining how my emotions work xD Anyways, if you got this far, thank you for reading. 
::edit::
I also wish there was some way I could explain to her that its not her fault, and its not her that got me upset, it was the build up for everything throughout the day, but I don't know how. When I tell her those exact words I don't think she believes me.
07 Aug 2010, 6:46 pm
conundrum
Veteran
Joined: 25 May 2010
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,922
Location: third rock from one of many suns
07 Aug 2010, 6:52 pm
I know exactly how you feel--this happens to me too. The only difference is that I learned how to "hold it in" until I get to someplace private (e.g. my bathroom) and "let it out" then.
I can't explain it any better, either. This is the kind of thing you can't really understand unless you've experienced it. Otherwise, people tend to take stuff way too personally.
Wish I could be of more help, but just know you're not alone in this.
Take care.
07 Aug 2010, 7:48 pm
Seeing as you irritate each other so much, it might be a good idea.
She does and she doesn't, I don't really know. She says she likes living with me and having me around to help out with things but at the same time she wishes she was alone. Unfortunately I'm not in any position to move out, I'm practically unemployable, have no money, and don't receive any state help/assistance. Its a very awkward situation, I was raised by my grandparents and lived most of my life with them, they both just recently passed away (both in the last 5 years) and now we live in their old house. She doesn't feel like she could kick me out, and while she has made it known that I'm welcome to live with her, a lot of times I just don't feel welcome.
Having such a level of dysfunction is what's pushing me to get a concrete DX, so maybe I can get some assistance or know better how to plan my life once that falls into place. Until then I feel like I'm "walking on eggshells", its very awkward.
I know exactly how you feel--this happens to me too. The only difference is that I learned how to "hold it in" until I get to someplace private (e.g. my bathroom) and "let it out" then.
I can't explain it any better, either. This is the kind of thing you can't really understand unless you've experienced it. Otherwise, people tend to take stuff way too personally.
Wish I could be of more help, but just know you're not alone in this.
Take care.
Thanks, its encouraging to know that I'm not alone in this. I have tried to explain, but nobody aside from my OT and psychiatrist seem to understand.
07 Aug 2010, 9:04 pm
07 Aug 2010, 9:15 pm
07 Aug 2010, 10:45 pm
08 Aug 2010, 4:44 am
08 Aug 2010, 12:38 pm
I live with my aunt, and for the most part we get along pretty well, and while we do have a few areas of contention, we both try to avoid them as much as possible. I, for some reason just can't hold back my emotions sometimes. All day long she might get irritated (she has pretty high anxiety) about something slam a door, stomp her feet as she walks, or swear to herself about things. Now, all day long as she does this, every door that slams, every little hint of frustration she shows, somehow effects me and builds up. I feel like there is some sort of siphon that just sucks it right up to be saved for later. So now by the end of the day I feel like my nervous system is at its limit and any little trigger topic that, earlier, would have rolled off my shoulders, now becomes some sort of monolithic obstruction that I can't get over. I break down crying, I can't communicate how I feel, I say things I regret and don't mean, its just a mess and I feel like I'm at my limit for controlling my reactions. I hurt the people I love, and I hurt myself (not physically).
I don't even know what to do. I've tried explaining to her how she just needs to be less critical of me and stop picking at things, but she just doesn't get that my threshold for this is so low and keeps poking at me. The clothes I wear, how unorganized I talk sometimes, or how something completely "under the bridge" still bothers her and that she still doesn't understand why I did or said something. I don't have enough income to move out or enough executive functioning to even hold a job, also I would rather if we could just avoid things like this and get along better. But I just always feel like I'm being attacked and picked on, and while at the same time I also think I might just be overreacting to everything. I do have very sensitive senses (hearing, touch, and sight) hearing being the most sensitive, so I often wonder if that has something to do with me feeling like my nervous system is in high-gear. Either way, I don't know what to do, I don't understand myself, and I don't understand her. I feel like everything I do annoys, upsets, or insults the people around me, yet I feel helpless to change myself. I feel so hypersensitive to everything, like every noise or bright light somehow adds to my anxiety level.
I don't have any official DX aside from ADD which I got when I was 5 and the people I'm seeing now all believe I fall somewhere in the lines of pdd-nos, hfa, or asperger's. I'm heading out for thorough testing in a few weeks, I might possibly have a seizure disorder as well, hopefully they can help me.
... But yeah, meltdowns as an adult.. anyone have problems in this area? How do you cope? How do you explain yourself to your family? My family is quite uninformed and not all that interested in becoming so, which makes it even more difficult. I have a hard enough time talking at all, never mind explaining how my emotions work xD Anyways, if you got this far, thank you for reading.
::edit::
I also wish there was some way I could explain to her that its not her fault, and its not her that got me upset, it was the build up for everything throughout the day, but I don't know how. When I tell her those exact words I don't think she believes me.
you should try taking up an insturment or even comedy those usually help but if not try another hobby or intrest to get your mind off of things
08 Aug 2010, 12:39 pm
I live with my aunt, and for the most part we get along pretty well, and while we do have a few areas of contention, we both try to avoid them as much as possible. I, for some reason just can't hold back my emotions sometimes. All day long she might get irritated (she has pretty high anxiety) about something slam a door, stomp her feet as she walks, or swear to herself about things. Now, all day long as she does this, every door that slams, every little hint of frustration she shows, somehow effects me and builds up. I feel like there is some sort of siphon that just sucks it right up to be saved for later. So now by the end of the day I feel like my nervous system is at its limit and any little trigger topic that, earlier, would have rolled off my shoulders, now becomes some sort of monolithic obstruction that I can't get over. I break down crying, I can't communicate how I feel, I say things I regret and don't mean, its just a mess and I feel like I'm at my limit for controlling my reactions. I hurt the people I love, and I hurt myself (not physically).
I don't even know what to do. I've tried explaining to her how she just needs to be less critical of me and stop picking at things, but she just doesn't get that my threshold for this is so low and keeps poking at me. The clothes I wear, how unorganized I talk sometimes, or how something completely "under the bridge" still bothers her and that she still doesn't understand why I did or said something. I don't have enough income to move out or enough executive functioning to even hold a job, also I would rather if we could just avoid things like this and get along better. But I just always feel like I'm being attacked and picked on, and while at the same time I also think I might just be overreacting to everything. I do have very sensitive senses (hearing, touch, and sight) hearing being the most sensitive, so I often wonder if that has something to do with me feeling like my nervous system is in high-gear. Either way, I don't know what to do, I don't understand myself, and I don't understand her. I feel like everything I do annoys, upsets, or insults the people around me, yet I feel helpless to change myself. I feel so hypersensitive to everything, like every noise or bright light somehow adds to my anxiety level.
I don't have any official DX aside from ADD which I got when I was 5 and the people I'm seeing now all believe I fall somewhere in the lines of pdd-nos, hfa, or asperger's. I'm heading out for thorough testing in a few weeks, I might possibly have a seizure disorder as well, hopefully they can help me.
... But yeah, meltdowns as an adult.. anyone have problems in this area? How do you cope? How do you explain yourself to your family? My family is quite uninformed and not all that interested in becoming so, which makes it even more difficult. I have a hard enough time talking at all, never mind explaining how my emotions work xD Anyways, if you got this far, thank you for reading.
::edit::
I also wish there was some way I could explain to her that its not her fault, and its not her that got me upset, it was the build up for everything throughout the day, but I don't know how. When I tell her those exact words I don't think she believes me.
you should try taking up an insturment or even comedy those usually help but if not try another hobby or intrest to get your mind off of things
