Why Even Bother?

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It's seems now that my parents don't listen to me anymore. Nobody in my family does. My mom is a good mom, my dad is a good dad. But when my dad comes everybody talks except me even though I try to. I'll say something and they'll ignore it to talk with my brother and my mom and dad talk to eachother.
It hurts because I get lonley so easily because nobody in my life gives a damn. Or at least that's what it feels like. I sturggled so hard with lonliness once I created an imaginary friend that was also a boyfriend. Anyway I won't get into detail about it.
Plus when my dad comes my mom turns into a diffrent person. I used to struggle with racial slurs and cussing alot. She said b***h in a restruant infront of a bunch of people after she said "I will never swear again, I won't set a bad example for you anymore" and she said it and it really hurt and embarassed me.
Sometimes I wonder why not go back to being quiet and only talking to imaginary things because my imaginary friend would always listen.
Not to mention I can't talk to anyone because once again they don't listen.
I almost don't feel like I'm part of the family because I have a diffrent a**hole of a father. He ditched me and left us as soon as I was diagnost. I feel like the kid who's just there.
Why do I bother with talking? Just....why?

Families can be awful. Maybe you could try, "Why are you ignoring me?"

You know, I just remembered that my sister thinks of herself as the family ghost. That's one of the categories that therapists use to discuss dysfunctional families. I was/am the family scapegoat.

If any of this hits home with you, maybe we could chase down something helpful from the library for you?

You say your parents don't listen to you "anymore" - did they stop listening because of your diagnosis?