hey sam2.....no one can save you, only you can do that. it sounds as if you want to 'get better'. been there, done that. i've been dead 4 times-no fun. intense aerobic training helped me greatly. long distance running, way long distance cycling, lung bursting long free climbs. worked better than anything any doctors had to offer. i became a marathon runner, a bike racer and a climber. things you can do mostly by yourself. it's hard but the rewards come soon. hang in there.