Always on the outside

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It occurred to me a while ago that in life, I was not normal. I wondered why, and a few years ago I found out the reason for my pain: I had aspergers. I was lost when this happened and I felt distant from everyone. What I knew about my self as just me being stupid now had a reason. I was officially different from people.

I've, throughout life, always felt I was observing people. I felt that I saw their rituals and saw how idiotic and meaningless they were. It was like a house, and I was looking in through a window. This does not make me feel sad, it just makes me feel really lonely. However, I do not wish to ever to do what they do. They are ignorant and I am free.

Wrong Planet, when I found it, was a very fun, loving place where I could seek people who were like me and understood me. For a while, it was so awesome and so therapeutic. Although lately, it has started to become stagnant, stale and hostile. The very fears of real life seeped into Wrong Planet. Distant, I have become.

I am starting to see the true face of Wrong Planet. Some aspies here think they are different than NTs because they do not follow social rituals, yet they have redundant rituals of their own which everyone does on the forums. An example of this is The Haven. The Haven is a pit of self-pity and circle-jerking. I may sound hypocritical posting here, but this is different.

The Haven has the most redundant cycle I have ever seen. Very rarely does any new archetype of post come up. It is always the same. I am starting to feel like I am different again. Perhaps, being with people who are like me is impossible. This makes me feel even more lonely.

I thought I could trust you guys. I haven't been an angel, sure. I will admit to trolling a good lot of you. I will not excuse this behavior. It is just, so many of you make me mad. I will admit to being jealous of some people here, because your life seems so much better than mine. This translate into anger, and it is a manifestation of my growing distantness.

What I want to do here is vent, and hopefully - just hopefully - make people think. I hope this is met well, and is not brought down by the moderators. Thanks for reading.

<3

EVERYONE LISTEN TO MY FERDINAND.

Keep in mind this is a site open to everyone and lots of people are descending through the same circles of hell... hence the repetitive nature of post types.

Ferdinand, different people deal with life in different ways. For many, what goes on in this forum is an important part of how they get by. You don't have to adopt it, you don't have to relate to it, and you don't have to like it - - but you MUST respect it and you must allow the process to continue without ANY negative interference from you.

If certain people and certain forums here annoy you, DON'T READ THEM.

We are NOT going to allow you to make people feel bad because they do something you disagree with and we are NOT going to allow you to mock or troll because you've gotten annoyed.

You've got a lot of learning left to do in this life, and someday you may look back and see your own actions as a teen as your own worst enemy. You need to learn to hold it in, and only post what is productive. Not just for you, but for this community.

Where else can I go that's this accepting?

Thanks, Moog. Where should I look? Just google communities?

I say do whatever makes you happy and doesn't hurt others.

Cool story, bro. Would recommend to anyone.

One stated wish granted. This thread is not supposed to be about a particular poster, so all posts focused on or by that poster are now removed. Nothing in the way now to stand in the way of productive discussion of your feelings, right?

Welp, I found no better community. Stormfront is scary. Maybe a big fallout 3 community might be the best thing for me.