I have a tough decision to make?

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Well I recently went to my therapist and we were talking about what was troubling me, and I described to him that the biggest problem I'm having recently is choosing what personality I want to have, because I have recently realized I have been pretty much lying to myself. Now I in my true personality am very mean harsh some what self-centered, and cruel; however I still go about everyday smiling and talking to people and pretending to understand them, and I'm really drained and tired of doing this, now the way my therapist explained it, is I'm coming to realize that there are social codes and social interactions and I'm abiding by them, and when he said that I immediately said " I don't want to learn there social codes, I don't care for them, they are useless and stupid, why should I conform to the rest of the world just because NT's think there normal, what of I'm normal and they are not? "; now obviously I know that I'm the one who is different but I was trying to make a point that I didn't want to conform, and my therapist then said well if you don't then it will be hard for you. Now my question is what should I do conform and act nice or revertto my personality, of being cynical, thriving off of hate and cruelty, I personally don't know what to do because I have always been told be your self, so I don't know what to do?

Be yourself. I gave in long ago to my true nature. I wouldn't be be happier any other way.

Changing is never easy and we never like doing it, but sometimes it has to be done... I had to go to several therapists to change how I use to act in 2002 and it was NOT fun, but it had to be done.

But on the bright, I've learnt that being good and obediance has its own rewards, they just take time.

I try not to be outright rude to people - in the long run, its not cost-effective when you need their help with something.

I do, however choose to avoid and ignore humans as far as I possibly can, so I'm not confronted with the necessity of being nice to them.

I gave in to my true nature, last September, and I'm not turning back.

I think you just need an outlet.

You could think in terms of using your intellectual abilities rather than emotional empathy which you may seriously lack if you don't feel any negative emotions at the idea of hurting other people.

Philosophers have this idea of the 'social contract' where people agree to do whats best for the common good of humanity putting their own selfish interests aside otherwise there will be war, chaos and suffering. This is a logical argument not an emotional one.

If you don't adhere to this principle by socially compromising you will have a much crappier life.

Thank you to all who posted, and especially thank you to the last poster, social contract is a very wise thing to do, I think I will show respect to others and abide by it for now