Feeling displaced, even homeless

Post Reply New Topic

I just want to clarify, I'm not homeless, but I feel like a vagabond right now.

I currently have a diagnosis of Bipolar, and am getting an Aspergers assessment soon.

I live in an apartment complex for the mentally ill. At present, and for 2 1/2 months before this, we have had a bedbug infestation. It's making life not only disgusting and painful, but I have had to get my room/apartment sprayed 4 times as of today.

I don't know if anyone knows what that entails, but it means you have to remove all of your property from the apartment except large furniture, flip your mattress so you cannot sleep on it, and leave for at least 24 hours so the spray on the bed doesn't hurt you.

I have put up with this 4 times. My parents have let me use their house to store my stuff during these sprayings, and now I am in their house indefinitely until the whole complex can be sprayed and fumigated. I'm 23, and living with my parents again.

My problem is that I feel totally displaced. Yes, I can stay in a very nice guest bedroom of my parent's, but all of my stuff is in boxes, all my clothes in bags, I never know when I might have to move everything back to my apartment and then back here again, and I don't even have a room of my own to stay in.

This is depressing me so badly. I just want a little bedroom where I can have access to my comic books and my computer and can have alone time. But right now, they want to put what precious little property I have into storage until "this is resolved". But the apartment management company and landlord refuse to properly treat anything, so I am stuck in Limbo!

I have been doing this literally since I moved into this apartment. I don't see it ending EVER. But I don't see my parents EVER letting me move in again, but I could never afford a place, even a studio apartment, at this time. Not even with the best job I could get while I go to school right now, which would only pay 8 dollars an hour, and I could only work 20 hours a week with college.

I am so depressed. I told my mom all this, and she said, "I wouldn't want to feel displaced either". What type of comment is that?! She is the greatest mother in the world, but I have never heard such an insensitive, arrogant comment come from her like that before!! !

I don't know what to do, much less how to make myself feel better. I just need some sympathy or anything!

Thank you for hearing me out. Please tell me if I am overreacting.

The part with your Mom is the hardest part. Okay, just try and cut her some slack, she might be on the spectrum, too! I know I'm mentally thinking about what I might write (have been a big writer for 20+ years), or a book I'm reading, gearing up to do SAT tutoring---and all that rich inner world often seems much more real than the day-to-day that's going on. Yes, your Mom should have picked up on the undercurrent, almost obviously she should have picked up on the obvious undercurrent, the emotional content of what you were saying. For whatever reason she didn't. So, try and give her some space. Then perhaps attempt a conversation tomorrow, 'Mom, it's important for me to know that you understand that this is a big deal to me, and to understand why it's a big deal to me . . . ' Maybe something like that.

I've lived in about a half dozen different apartment units. Most of them are pretty lousy. Most of them have one maintenance guy, who maybe gets something like $12 an hour, who's a generalist, who's good as far as it goes, but the company never ever hires a roofing specialist or a plumber or an electrician. well, the electrician maybe, but only after the problem has gone on for a while. And somehow the residents get blamed for being "difficult" or "a problem" because they keep reminding the company that the problem is in fact not fixed. All in all, not a very healthy social dynamic.

------------------------------

There is one potential upside. You can use this as an occasion to talk with fellow residents, the possibility of political activism, underplay it, something like picketing is down the road and is usually an Ace that's better to flash than actually play. Just talk to people, 'Hey, man, I'm finding this whole thing with spraying just a first-rate nuissance. . . . ' And just listen to people, and allow some of the conversation to ping pong back and forth. Now, you might find yourself kind of a low-key leader, just low-key it and build up other people as leaders, you don't want to become "the" leader where you've incurred all this obligation and you're sorry almost the minute you started. So, maybe . . . 'well, you could call as easily as I could . . . or let's call together. let's go over there together and just suggest. And if they say No, we'll back off as graciously. Anything like picketing, that's down the road, that's good to hold in reserve' 'They got a lot of stress. They're trying, in a fashion, the guy is a generalist'

Then you can hear other people complain. I often find that good for the soul! Then they're carrying some of the burden for me. I then don't feel like I have to be the heavy. Yes we will suggest things