depressed on where i'm at in life

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I graduated high school in 2007, ready to go to college and take on the world (so to speak). In November 2007, I met a girl who I thought was an okay friend, turns out she basically ruined my life. Because of her, I spent all my time with her, flunked out of college, gave her a place to stay when her mom disowned her and went to Scotland, all to have this chick ruin my life after I dumped her because we no longer were in love with each other (I don't think I ever was).

Now 3 years later, I'm still a freshman in college, I have no job (I've applied at numerous places, never so much as a call back). I have a wonderful girlfriend who I love with all my heart and I truly want to spend the rest of my life with her. The only problem is she's having doubts about our relationship because my brother and sister-in-law (who I'm not even close to) judged our relationship at the start, because I'm 21 and she's 17. I'm fairly certain that she loves me a lot too, but I really don't want to loose her. *Twilight reference lol* She's like my imprint. *end Twilight reference* I don't think I could live without her. She's what holds me to the ground, and nothing else matters except for her.

The other problem is that my family is pretty split up. My father committed suicide about 10 years ago, and my grandma on his side died of cancer a year later. After that my entire father's side of the family has been split up into lots of tiny families. I don't really even like anyone on that side of the family, but my girlfriend doesn't know if she can be with me if she doesn't meet them.

She is perfect though. Even though she has her problems, like being sexually and physically abused by her grandfather and father respectively, and she has OCD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Bipolar II Disorder, and Depression, I still think that she is the greatest person in the whole world, and the only one who really "gets" me.

I just...I don't know what to do or say anymore. All my friends are moving on with their life, they're graduating college, and I want to at least keep my girlfriend. She's the only thing that keeps me alive. If it wasn't for her I'd probably go the Christopher McCandless route and just leave everyone behind to die out in the wilderness.

I just wish I could show her that we can still be together, and she can meet my family when she's ready, little by little or all at once, whatever.

Please look more closely and I am sure you can see that was because of you:



A face and a name are all that have actually changed.

Can you see that? There is certainly nothing wrong with personal tragedies being a common experience drawing two people together, but some real purpose and direction in life will be required if any tragedy is ever to be overcome.

Well she didn't actually ruin my life until later. In March of 2010 we broke up, but she's still somehow intertwined with my life no matter how hard I try and get her out of it. I just want my ex to stay in the past. Unfortunately she's my niece's godmother, so that's never going to happen.

She also made my current girlfriend not want to meet most of my family, because they're still "connected" somehow to my ex, and when me and my current girlfriend started dating, my ex did a real mature thing by having her friend from WI (we're in MI) call up my girlfriend and call her nearly ever name in the book.

I am kind of upset that I'm not further on in life as most of the people I graduated HS are, but this was partly my fault. I was the one who decided to stop going to classes that first semester. However this past semester (Winter/Spring 2010) wasn't entirely my fault, as when my ex and I broke up, we stopped combining our income (we actually ended up living together still for a month, but in separate rooms). I didn't want to ask my parents for money because they were on hard times too. I was trying to do the "nice" thing but it obviously backfired as I was too focused on money to be able to concentrate on school.

In short, I admit that it's mostly my fault where I am now, I'm just upset that I let myself get to where I am now. Although I also realize that all this crap I've been through has gotten me to where I am now, and without it I would have never met the most wonderful person in the whole world.