Getting depressed again, and tired of this crap.

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I think I need some advice more than anything else. For the happy Aspies, how are you happy? Are there any tricks to it?

I had severe depression earlier this year, and by the time I left the mental hospital after 10 days, I didn't feel prepared to tackle life again, but felt like I should. I still felt lower than average, but normally functionable. For the most part, things were okay again. But the past few weeks I'm noticing that I'm reaching a lower point again. I don't have Anhedonia (no pleasure in what would be pleasurable activities, i.e. video games), but I'm feeling mellow and melancholic more often. Starting an activity or personal project is incredibly hard to do. I'm getting pessimistic about my future again, and am feeling more irritable lately.

I also don't feel like I deserve to make a thread here to get help, so... chalk that one up, too.

The main problem I feel, is that I know why I'm feeling depressed, but find it hard to stop feeling this way. It's the loneliness problem. Every time I think of someone I've met in life, or notice a "friend's" status on facebook, I'm reminded of how they didn't seem to have this problem. I'm being an idiot, comparing myself to others, but it's hard not to do that. It depresses me that I can't have a solid group of friends to fall back on like them. Everyone I know that also has a passion for music, has their friends. Everyone I know that has depression has their friends. I'm there... alone, being lame.
From there, I keep going back to growing up in elementary/middle school where things were worse. Why I couldn't have been like everyone else, why did I have to be a target. Why couldn't I naturally know how to run correctly, why did I love sports but incredibly suck at them. Why was I the one picked last, why did I have to be the mess that people didn't like to be around, why why why why.

This is a stupid way of thinking, too, the past is how the past is, but I can't forget it. I should be glad I'm not like everyone else; I'm different/special! But I can't accept myself. More or less, I want the best of both worlds. I want to be as happy as I used to be, and with the knowledge I have now. It seems like I can't have both. I can't learn to live, with just one or the other.

What's worse, is that my youngest brother, 8, both I and my parents recognize that he, for the most part, is like me. I want to so much, teach him what to do and what not to do, teach him all the ways, so that he doesn't go through the same **** I had to go through. But of course, I can't seem to go down to the same level as him so that he'll understand a word. He doesn't care. And I'm too nice, I don't want to see my youngest brother scarred.

Then, there's the diagnosis problem. For the past month we've been taking the diagnostics test (because of our unlucky schedule, it could have taken four simple hours. But no.), and ~10 days ago, we finished, and the doctor said that I didn't have, (or it was just really mild) Asperger's, or ADHD, like I thought I would. This pissed me off, since that's one of the reasons I went to take the damn test. Instead, he said I likely had Bipolar. I have no recurring history of mania. It's possible, but I don't see enough of the cycles to really believe that 100%. He said that most of my Asperger's traits are explained in Bipolar as well, which was complete BS. A quick Google search, showed NO correlation between eye contact issues with bipolar. Just for one of the things. He left us on this note, proposed I get changed to a mood stabilizer instead of an anti-depressant. My psychiatrist agreed, but my therapist and parents disagreed. (Thankfully we're finally seeing this doctor tomorrow, but I don't feel like everything's going to be so clear after that)

So basically, I'm stuck feeling like nobody can figure out what the hell is wrong with me, like I'm just a monster that doesn't belong in the human race. Adding that to the stupid depression where I don't feel like I relate to the human race anyways... I guess it adds to that outsider feeling. I don't feel like I'll ever find someone I'll relate to. Everyone is different, but I feel like I'm too different that I can't be happy with it.

I'm not suicidal, since I guess that always has to be mentioned.

But does anybody have any tips to avoid feeling depressed in this sense?

I've been through pretty much everything you've posted here. I'm mild AS with Dyslexia, ADHD symptoms, and suspected bipolar but not manic bipolar. I've been depressed all my life, I was supposed to be hospitalized for depression at age 19 but my poor social skills caused me to be unable to explain most of my dysfunctions. Only recently this year have I gained some social skills. I did figure out some ways to deal with my depression and I no longer have sever depression but there are some things you just can't control. I don't take anti depressants anymore, but I did start seeing a therapist who knows how deal with people on the spectrum. If you want to talk about it some time feel free to email me.