Fell in love with a nurse

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I fell in love with a nurse. What could be worse? They're not allowed to fraternise with patients. Thus, I am bound to be heartbroken. I've written her a letter and she's not replied yet. Maybe she never will. It's driving me mad.

I'm sure she'll appreciate the letter, but she won't respond. It would be incredibly unethical to do so.

Take the qualities that you like about her and look for them in other people.

The problem is role confusion. You may have interpreted her behavior as being specific to you. It is her job to treat you, and you can't interpret anything she does as an indication that she would be open to anything you proposed in your letter. I've wondered whether women in different roles might not have been nice to me if they had not been constrained by the behavioral rules of their roles at the time.

Thanks for answering. Just to talk about this feeling is wonderful. This nurse was the most interesting woman I ever met. She said she liked my socks. Sometimes she'd look at me without looking away, as if she was gazing at me. She watched me be sick in a bucket without minding, and cleaned it and brought it back to me. She made more room for me around my bed and brought me a blanket when I couldn't stop shivering. Often she'd call me "hun" when she'd address me. She organised the hospital to get a taxi home for me because I'd been robbed before going to hospital. She injected drugs in me to get rid of my nausea and pain and kept on checking my drip connected to me was working.

I'm almost certain she was just being kind and a good person. I couldn't help but fall in love with this woman who was there for me in my hour of need. I'll just have to wait for this feeling to pass now.

She'll never reply. She might either think it's cute (in a good way, but nonetheless in a non-sexual way) or show it to her friends and ridicule it.

I wonder if you are describing her behaviours as reasons why you suspect she might have been attracted to you, because they don't seem that way at all to me.

To begin with, some people tend to call everyone "hun". This is done out of habit rather than out of romantic interest. I know that in certain parts of England, referring to a person of the opposite sex as "love" while doing business (e.g. selling groceries) is seen as quite normal.

Second, many of the behaviours you describe are things *I* could have done for you if I were responsible for your health, and I'm male.

Take the opportunity to understand your feelings and see if you can gently change them.

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