I can't stop worrying about a Woman that I know.

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She's about 4ft 9 inches tall, and she appears to weigh, about 300 Lbs. I went to both Elementary School and High School with her, and I don't want to lose her. She's eating herself to Death and she doesn't seem to care. I don't know what I'd ever do, if she was to pass away, especially Tomorrow. Her Parents have tried to direct her in the Food and Diet department, but she won't have any of that. She thinks that she's still Thirteen and that she can eat anything that she wants and whatever she eats, won't make a difference. My Mom told me that she saw her with her Fifteen Year Old Brother, sitting at one of the tables, just outside the IGA. She told me that she couldn't believe how huge my friend is. I can't stop worrying about her. What do I do

Nothing will work until she reaches her bottom. She could be 15, 25 or 35 stone by that time. But hopefully it will come. Then the trend tends to reverse itself and you become desperate to diet. That's what happened with yours truly.

And the end of the day, it's her body. If she wants to kill herself, that's unfortunate but when all is said and done it's her problem.

tequila.....ouch!
is all i can say, but i am also an aspie and that was functional advice and practical...not emotional...yip you sound aspie too.
you cant help her until she can see that she needs help, until then your more worried than she is....her weight afects you more than her...crazy world man.......crazy.

some people don't ever realize they need help. I know of women that way over 500 lbs and don't care. she can't walk any more...and i think she has heart problems. Her huband tells her he is worried and she doesn't care.

You could tell her your worried about her heart and you don't want to loose her(jusst be careful with how you put it in words.). if she doesn't listen its her body and there is very little anyone but her can do about it.

Invite her to go walking with you. Or to do something that involves a lot of walking.

Pack your own snacks and drinks to share. Snacks like celery and carrot sticks and cheese and maybe some dried fruit, drinks like water. Make sure where you walk doesn't have easy access to hi calorie food.

Try to get her to walk 30 minutes. A brisk pace would be good, because then some endorphins (feel good chemicals) have a chance to kick in, and the further you walk in 30 minutes, the more calories you burn.

Don't mention diet and exercise in connection with your plan.

Make it a look at the pretty view, historic buildings, exotic plants, pretty paintings kind of walk. If she has some special interest - it could be a look at the cute dogs/cats/cars kind of walk. Park a little further away than you need, get off at the wrong bus stop and walk a bit extra. Look for opportunities to get a little more walking in.

Tell her as many things as you can think of that you like about her. Try to avoid the bad things. She's probably eating out of habit and to feel good in a quick fix kind of way. If you can break the habit and help her feel good, it will hopefully reduce her need to eat for a while. Get her parents to start telling her the good things about herself too.

If you must have one naughty snack in your pack - make it extra dark chocolate; milk chocolate or candy doesn't qualify. Extra dark choc has lots of things in it that are good for you.

Thankyou.

Not sure about the cheese idea, myself. Cottage cheese is fine, though.

Try apples, oranges, pears or grapes instead.

The trouble with all celery and carrot is you can still feel hungry. A bit of cheese - like cheddar not brie, can help you feel like you've eaten something substantial.

And compared to a mars bar, cola, or deep friend potato chips, cheese is pretty low cal along with having lots of good dairy calcuim vitamin things in it.

Cottage cheese sucks. Though I'll eat ricotta. Especially if someone has blended the lumpy texutre out of it.

So we're not trying to reduce the calories to nothing, just less calories than before.

I'm thinking it's a possibility she has other issues besides her weight. Do you think her constant eating and allowing herself to become obese is a sign of self-neglect? Because in that case she may need more than just information on diet. She may have mental health issues, such as depression or low self-esteem. Again, this is just a possibility and I might be completely off-track here.

She has a lot of Social problems and she gets into arguements with everyone that she meets. She's also seemed to have some sort of Depression, from the first time that I've known her. Her Self-Esteem is very low, and she doesn't feel appreciated or understood by anybody. She also sees a Thin Person, when she looks in the mirror. She can't seem to go for a walk without stopping to buy Junk Food. I think that she has a secret wish to commit Suicide.

I think this woman needs first of all help to deal with her Social Problems. Try to make her see a professional therapist for a small thing she deals with, the treatment for the overweight issue might follow later.
There must be a reason why she wants to hide in eating all that stuff.

I have known people eating themselves to death.
You can help her by giving her the confidence to let go all the hiding things and to feel safe to show her inner self. Then she might talk about her problems.

Get her moving is a good thing. A habit can be changed by taking a small step every day, so everyday 1 fat thing less to eat,replaced by e.g. some exercise does makes a difference. She saves a lot of money if she does not eat that much. Ask her what she would like to buy but what she can not afford now.

Be aware that she might want to fill up emptyness with things, like she does now with food. Some people who are overweighted have personality disorders like Borderline Disorder. Do not let her make you feel miserable in what kind of way whatshoever! Make sure she does not makes you feel quilty about your own weight (victim playing type). She is responsible for her own weight, no matter how she judges the world around her.

She has to find the reason to deal with her own weight problem, if she does not sees the reason to change her eating habits, please do not spent too many time on her trying to make her change these killing habits, cause you will probably loose the discussion and this woman as a friend too, cause she might get angry at you.

I'm not sure because I don't know what her lifestyle habits are, but for the love of God, don't make the focus of everything to lose weight!

The true focus is to LIVE HEALTHIER.

Carrying "excess" weight isn't as bad as they say. Diabetes, heart problems, and other "obesity-related" diseases are caused by DIET AND EXERCISE, but NOT by THE WEIGHT.

The weight is just another symptom of LIVING UNHEALTHY. Some people, however, are just larger by nature, even if they live healthy.

Losing weight will probably come naturally if her habits change. Leave it at that.

It's possible to be fat and healthy.