Do you resolve conflict-internally or externally or both?

Post Reply New Topic

I know that is a silly topic, but Im wondering how do those with aspergers deal with conflicts, internally , externally or by using both means to do so?
From my experience what I do is poll a forum for a more generalized idea on the topic at hand, I ask people (my friends/loved ones) for feedback , and I also look up stats if I need to to make a more rounded decision or conclusion.
However I ask this as I am beginning to notice my spouse with undiagnosed AS appears to go inside his head, discuss the issue only with himself , and then maybe if Im lucky will come out a few days later and give me a conclusion based only on his own thoughts and perceptions, without looking or even considering to do so with any other feedback. He appears to not ask for advice from friends or family , nor does he search the net, or consider to look at the majority's opinion for help.
From what i see he complies his decisions based only on his own feedback from his own thoughts, without any external assistance from the outside world.
Is this a man thing, or a AS thing?

I usually deal with things on my own or I'll research a problem on-line or something like that. Approaching other people with problems is a last resort - that involves having extra social interactions, which is stressful on it's own and it involves verbalising my thoughts which often isn't the easiest thing, plus what works for most people doesn't always work for Aspies.

I do both. I try to fix things myself first, but if that doesn't work, I look to others for help. No shame in that, as long as it isn't your first option.

I very much do as your spouse. Man thing or Aspie thing? Me no savvy. Pretty much everyone in my family, male, female, Aspoie or NY operates the same way.

I tend to work out problems internally. I think this is because any sort of conflict with people is so stressful for me that I do not like to work out conflicts WITH people. I work them out alone and then when I have what I feel is a workable solution, I approach the person I am in conflict with. And then they slug me.

If I am very angry or stressed I will rant and rave at some poor soul who has the misfortune to be listening to me. This lets me blow off steam and I am able to think more rationally. I will sometimes listen to whatever advice they offer, but I usually don't rant and rave to get advice. Sometimes the advice is useful, sometimes it is not. In the end, the decisions I make are wholly mine.

I resolve my conflicts externally. I'm my own personal counselor