Do you think NOT driving holds you back socially?

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A friend I have barely hangs out with me and mom/me were discussing the driving issue. If I could drive it might be "hey meet us at the beach" but that fact that this friend would have to pick me up drop me off. Might be a hindrance on the relationship. The same will probably happen in College with making friends aswell. What are your thoughts on this matter?

Yes. Though most of it can be avoided by for example riding a bike. I used to average 22mph for multiple hours .on a bike. Now if you are stuck in city traffic in a car you can't go but twice that if you are lucky.

Yep.

One of the various reasons why I can't hang out with people or go to an event of some sort is because I can't drive. I'm sure it wouldn't be a big issue if we had reliable public transportation but as we don't, it makes it makes anywhere almost impossible.

I think most painful thing about it is when people ask me why I can't drive or why I don't have friends who will take me. I never knew how greatly survival plays in our socialization. I think it wouldn't bother me if I didn't know how much most people take their social instincts for granted.

I was almost forced to learn how to drive starting at about age 11. At the time, I did not really want to drive, but I was goaded into learning how. Even though there are those who regard me as "medium functioning," driving has helped me greatly in participating in society and gives me some access to social events. Because of driving, I have been able to work at different jobs and have gone out on dates. In short, I believe that unless a person lives in a large city such as New York, etc, where there is reliable and highly available public transit, driving is a necessity for full participation in society.

Absolutely it does. Until I graduated university, I lived in a city with extensive public transit and excellent biking opportunities (both of which I used every day). I had almost no issues then. However, now that I've moved to a much smaller town for graduate school, there is no public transit and cycling is made difficult by the fact that I live at the top of a very long hill and am required to travel through the woods to get from my home to anywhere else.
I know that I would be invited to do many more things if I had a vehicle - I could join friends that lived elsewhere for evenings of movies and games, I could travel to restaurants for dinners, and I would be able to stay far later when we assemble to play video games or watch movies, as it would not be dangerous to stay late into the night (as it is, my route home is unlit and not exactly confidence-inspiring alone after dark).
Driving is absolutely essential here, and I'm going to have to man up, get an American driver's licence, and buy a used car as soon as I can possibly divert enough attention from my studies.

I have a friend (if not AS, at least PDD-NOS) who has never driven in the 30 years I've known him. It most certainly affects him on many levels. anything he wants or needs to do that's not within walking distance of his home, means depending on a friend or acquaintance to come pick him up and give him a ride. That means accommodating to their schedule and sometimes not getting something done at all. It means grocery shopping can never involve more items than you can carry home in your arms, which means going back every other day instead of shopping for a couple weeks at a time - over a year, that turns into a lot of walking. Got a court date? Government office closes early? Better start hoofin' it...

Relative has an emergency out of town? Sorry.

I know what you are talking about. I have had get really mean about it too like asking me if I am lying because of a DWI driving ban, having siezures, or being mentaly ill and banned from driving. When I tell them it is do to lack of cordination they say stuff like you do not have to lie to me. Its funny I use to ride dirt bikes, four wheelers, and mini bikes all over my father's property out in the boonies with no problems or fear. But the minute I go on blacktop with white or yellow lines everything goes badly for me. When I rode my bike when I was a kid it was on roads without lines.

The good news is everything is with in a 40 min walk from my house. We have 2 Tops Markets, Wegmans Market, Wal Mart, 2 Walgreens, K Mart, Kohls, 15 resteraunts/Fast Food, my doctor's office, 3 dentist offices, Depew Police HQ, Depew Fire Dept., Depew post Office, Lancaster Fire Dept., Depew High School. Depew Middle School, 4 Churches, 3 gyms, 3 Gas Stations, Flix Movie Theater, Lancaster Opera House, and the Jester's Cap gamestore all in walking distance from my house.

Despite having everything in walking distance the one thing that is not is my friends. I have the bad luck in picking friends who live nowhere close to me.

Last edited by Todesking on 10 Jul 2010, 12:21 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Not driving is tough. I'm 19, in college, and I don't have my license. I get looked down upon a lot for this in my social circle, especially with my boyfriend and his friends, who all have their own cars and commute to school. Now my boyfriend's little brother just turned 16 and got his permit, and now they're placing bets on who will get their license first, and most of them are not in my favor. They don't understand that driving doesn't come naturally to everyone. A few of my guy friends in this social group have been racing go-carts semi-professionally since they were 10 years old, so obviously they had no problems, and my boyfriend and his little brother live on a farm and work jobs where they drive tractors and other construction-type machinery all the time.

Although the driving issue has not held me back from having friends (since my bf drives there's a bit less social stigma towards having him drive me places), it has definitely been the cause of my drifting apart from some friends, especially those who go to college outside the area. I can't just pick up and go visit them. And I used to get invited by my one friend to parties in the city all the time, but I could never get there, and soon he stopped inviting me and now we don't even talk anymore.

My bf also gets irritated that he has to come pick me up whenever we want to hang out. It's kind of a sore spot.

To sum up: people don't take me seriously, and they are irritated by my dependence on others because I cannot drive.

It definitly held me back in high school when I had so many before/after school activities as well as other things. It was a pain to have work around my parents' and grandma's schedules and then have to wait for them to come pick me up when I was done and such. It was very annoying.

Unless school was involved I was rarely allowed to go hang out at a friend's house. My parents for some reason never had a problem with driving me to school for out of hour activities but they were extra strict about letting me go see friends for the sake of seeing them.

Gotta love parental priorities. My mom would rather pay for drugs and therapy than my interests to make me happy.

If this is the case, it's his problem. Not yours. I find that driving to pick up or meet my girlfriend of the time made me drive with more caution and no need to do anything stupid.

Driving is not the same as walking. A vehicle is a MACHINE, not 100% natural.

No, but I know it holds me back occupationally.

I'm getting a car when I'm 18 to make it easier for me to commute to work/university/whatever it is I'll be doing that the time, but I doubt it'll make me any more social.

Obviously, I see why people who want to socialise would use a car as a gateway for it, but I won't be doing that, since I have no such desires.

Driving itself is something I like quite a bit, though. I've driven multiple cars on private roads before and I've got pretty good at it.

I think not driving holds me back a lot. I live in a rural area with no form of public transportation so I'm dependent on others to go anyplace. Both my parents work so things need to be planed out in advance usually in order for one of em to bring me. I have to have friends pick me up & bring me back home when we do stuff so that inconveniences them

It depends on where you live, really. I am moving to a place where most people ride their bikes, so nobody will expect me to drive. I am sure that in highly environmentalist communities, people would actually prefer that you do not drive. I would love to not ever have to drive, since that is the only way to show that I am very serious about my passion to preserver the earth. Wait a minute, I am using the computer, and it uses electricity, which comes from burnt coal!