A true Alien

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This is more of a rant and a story than anything but seriously, I don't know if I have it for sure... but whatever I am or have I really, really do feel alone in this world. I am now being told by a therapist I have AS and ADHD, but meeting some other people with ADHD and a guy with AS... I STILL don't fit in... I don't know if I ever well. Today I was extra depressed, doesn't help I have bipolar characteristics too. I sometimes just want to die, though I never acted on it.

I am looking for my own kind.

As a kid, I was labeled ADHD and Severely Emotionally Impaired. I had screaming fits (meltdowns?) over everything. I was hyperactive, impulsive, took things literally and had no social skills. They did all sorts of things to try to control my behavior. They put me in special ed part of the day. They sat me next to the teachers. They tried to punish me. They had an aide follow me around... etc... I had the screaming fits until I was about 16, and even today I very occasionally will have one of these meltdowns. But I was smart! As a teen, I was in special ed and honor's courses, different parts of the day!! !

These meltdowns are like overwhelming emotion... can't help but release it.

But as a kid, I seemed to have a special interest in science, then it turned into me focusing on birds, then in senior high Pokemon almost caused me fail classes.

Nowadays, if I am not on bipolar meds, I have horribly changing moods, panic attacks, can't sleep, and delusions and other stuff too. I still have no social skills. I have repetitive movements, I obsess. But I actually don't notice changes, I look people in the eye and I can tell facial expressions properly. That's what makes me different from an aspie.

I just act strange, and I can even tell when I see video of myself. I can't put my finger on it, but I am not like other people.

I just want to find my own kind.

Are you as excited as I am about Sonic Colors? just wanted to ask...

hey angnix------i've never been able to fit in either. i know how hard this can be. wish i had a magic pill for you to take, but i don't.

becoming a marathoner, bicycle racer and free climber worked wonders for me. just complete physical exhaustion. it modifies your brain chemistry in ways chemicals cannot.

i found my passion in helping animals in various ways. shelters, rescues, advocating for better animal protection laws. things like that.

have you thought about helping with an avian rescue group? there are so many abused 'pet' birds that need help, you can't believe it. this would allow you to focus on rehabbing birds and might let you you 'get out of your head' for awhile.

good luck to you.........sorry i can't be of more help.

I just wish my DS wasn't stolen so I could have both versions. Anyway yeah, looks like a pretty good game, but the little wisps weird me out