Unbe-BLEEEEP-inglievable

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I was JUST starting to calm down after dealing with my husband's BS, listening to some Romanian music, doing a little reading, and the idiot came downstairs and started giving me crap about an incident about a month ago when I was at the computer, surfing the web for *a birthday present for HIM* and he sneaked up behind me with my dog and surprised me, and I startle easily anyway, but I didn't want him to see what I was doing, so I got really surprised and covered up the computer screen and turned the monitor around. Well, he is saying I was "acting suspicious" and he "doesn't believe me" that it was about a birthday present, even though I told him it was.

WHY does he have to do this at 11:30 at night???? Just to make it so I can't sleep???? WTF???? OMG, what the hell is he trying to do? He's done this before, start crap late at night....then he goes to bed and sleeps no problem and I'm up half the night obsessing. AAARRRRGGGGHHHH!! !! !

~Kate

Dump him. I''m single

Seriously - if he snobs at you about that incident again, tell him that if he'd been any real sort of so concerned he should have badgered you about it back on the day, so you could have proved you weren't looking at [fill in the blank] by showing him your browsing history.Bringing it up 20 days later is childish, immature, and he's intentionally seeking destruction.

Or something like that.
Now that you know what he has to say, you can formulate a comeback before it comes up again.

I've been in this place before. And unfortunately, unless you know the attack beforehand, there's no way to prepare. You SHOULD try to screw up the courage to tel him in the morning that you couldn't sleep tonight, because he attacked you last night with an illogic.

Thanks...he did actually say something at the time, but he keeps bringing it up. He is trying to attack, though, because if he isn't going to believe me, there's nothing I can say that I haven't already said and nothing I can do that I haven't already done that will change his mind. He's just being an ass. This is something he does regularly...*sigh*.

~Kate

Have you told him what you were actually doing, or is that still ahead for him? And of course, I am not saying you should tell him now if he does not yet know.

His extreme actions are definitely out of order and he needs to learn to deal with things more reasonably, but his instinct for being "socially secure" within your relationship has been threatened and he is afraid. He is rightly jealous of your affection, and he fears any possible compromise of your relationship together. But if he now knows what you were doing and is still acting like that, then there is some real proof he needs to learn to deal with his fears reasonably.

Do you want to know what my s.o.b.'in husband does? He'll wake me up 2 o'clock in the morning to start a fight about something that happened two months ago. I could KILL him!

I've told him at least 3 or 4 times what I was doing. He refuses to believe me. His problem. His loss, as I am not getting him the present I was looking at, which is something he would have liked, but now I'm too pissed to consider it.

He does rightly fear for the relationship because he knows I am seriously thinking about leaving. I've made that clear. I can't deal with this much longer. If we had no kids, I'd have been out of here long ago. I've had a couple of meltdowns already (rather mild ones, at least I didn't injure myself), and I can't see them getting less severe, only worse.

@RightGalaxy--if my husband woke me up at 2 AM I swear I'd freak. It's bad enough he does this right before I'm ready for bed. whoaaaa...

~Kate