Should my mother stick up for me in this situation?

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My neighbor has been coming into our home and harassing me.


She came into our home drunk, called me an "idiot" multiple times for thinking something I had brought up to her before and pushed me twice while I was sitting on the couch.

I have been ignoring the neighbor for the past two months. She continues to try to talk to me.

Unfortunately, this woman is also head of the HOA. My mother is the treasurer. The neighbor comes over to do HOA business about once every two weeks and continues to say hello to me even though I have ignored her (not saying anything when she says hello to me) for the past two months.

Yesterday, she says to me:

""Kevin. Even though I know you don't want to talk to me any more, I am going to say hello."

This woman deserves be punched in the face.

I asked my mother is she could go over to my neighbors home and do the HOA business. For some reason, she does not want to do this. I think she believes this might offend my neighbor. This makes no sense to me. I feel she should be angry that the neighbor is coming into her home and annoying me.

She thinks I should confront the neighbor and not have her become involved. I told her that she is wrong for putting my neighbor's feelings before mine. I told her she should be offended that someone is coming into our home and being disrespectful to me.

Last edited by KevinLA on 13 Sep 2010, 7:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.

She's not being disrespectful. She's just saying hello. Is it that hard to just say hello back once a fortnight?

No your mum should not stand up for you.

Is this disrespectful?

She came into our home drunk, screamed at me, called me an "idiot" multiple times for thinking something I had brought up to her before and pushed me twice while I was sitting on the couch.

Yes. I would also call it violent and abusive. I think in this situation, you should call the police yourself and get a restraining order. In this situation, yes, your mother should take your side and bar her.

But why did you not include that in your initial post? You just said that this woman insisted on saying hello to you.

(oh, I see you've gone back and edited your post to put that in).

The part I bolded above makes no sense. Though your neighbor's actions sound improper, without knowing why she called you an "idiot", I cannot say whether your mother is behaving unreasonably. Also, how old are you?

Since she is head of the HOA, I asked her whether there was asbestos in the stucco of the home. I was going to remove some and wanted to be safe. It is not an unreasonable question. Our other neighbor actually wanted to know the same thing.

I am 39.

We are still allowing this woman into our home, but she doesn't care that I don't want to talk to her. Me not talking to her even when she says something to me is telling her in no uncertain terms I want nothing to do with her. (Does everyone agree with that statement?) She does not care what I think. She does not care what I think even in the place that I live.

Does anyone else act like this? (Besides her sister who lives next door to us and harasses me as well and makes sexual innuendos towards me). I am done with her as well.

Did you ask her about asbestos in the stucco prior to the night she berated you?

Yes, when you do not talk to her, it makes it fairly clear that you don't want to have anything to do with her. She may not, however, recall what she did while she was drunk.

I had asked her about a week before.

I think it is important to remember that she did this in our home . That irks me to no end.

Last edited by KevinLA on 13 Sep 2010, 9:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Do you not have a room you can go off into when the lady is around? Or leave the home?

I am not running away in my own home.

If you had already asked and she had answered, then her reaction when you asked the second time, while excessive, is not altogether unreasonable. Drunk people often lose their ability to behave in an appropriate manner.

Are your neighbor or her sister close to you in age?

Since you mentioned sexual innuendos, it seems possible that one or both of them may be interested in having sex with you. Or they could just be mean people.

If possible, you should do what the other poster suggested and find a place in the house where she will not bother you. Don't look at it as running away. If anything, it will make it even more clear that you want nothing to do with her.

I only asked once. She was referring to the time I had asked her.

Her being drunk is not an excuse. I went to a party school and have never been disrespected like that.

I only asked once. She was referring to the time I had asked her.

Her being drunk is not an excuse. I went to a party school, have been around countless drunk people and and have never been disrespected like that. Especially in my own home.

Here's a suggestion:

Keep your house door LOCKED. My parents and siblings have made it a habit to ALWAYS keep the house door LOCKED even when everybody is home.

That way she can't get in if she's drunk. If she tries to get in while drunk call the cops.

In America a push counts as an assault and you could have had her arrested. If she is drunk and in your house assaulting you or causing trouble they would lock her up over night until she sobers up. Then when she comes over you can ask her if she enjoyed the strip search, delousing, and the body cavity search. It might be enough to keep her away after the embarressment of being arrested.

Hey be nice to her maybe next time she comes over drunk you might be able to get some. LoL or at least draw on her face with a magic marker when she passes out.