Very depressed

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I have been depressed every year around this time since I was 14 years old so I think I have SAD (seasonal affective disorder). A staff member said I didn't have it because 'her mum has it' and she doesn't get it until November. I got angry, fists flew and now I hate myself even more for losing control.

Hating myself is the big issue here. I am struggling to cope with my body, I hate it and I have been cutting myself all over trying to 'perfect' it. I cut all my hair by myself yesterday, which although it got me a free haircut (to straighten it out), was really stupid thing to do. I can't stop screaming. It is like an emotional pain shooting through my whole body and making me scream.

Like I said though, all of this worsens in the winter. Light therapy isn't available on the NHS or I'd do that (has anyone else tried it? Does it work for you?). I might buy myself a lamp but they are damn expensive. Otherwise all I can do is take pills and hope that this isn't the year when my suicide attempt finally works (I have attempted suicide nearly every winter since I was 17). I am not trying to be a moaning wimp, I need help thugh. Can someone help me know how to feel better?

First off, this staff member should not have been so damn cocksure about the whole situation. Let's put her down as mediocre, at best! I hope there are people there available that you can talk with. Here the states, we have physician assistants, and sometimes they can be as good as doctors.

That sounds like some seasonal something. I mean straight up, get a doctor or physician's assistant or some health care provider who actually has some listening skills.

When necessary, please talk with us here. Now, sometimes people here can actually be kind of like jackasses. And a lot of time people ignore postings. And that's not so great either. But sometimes people respond pretty okay.

So, please consider us as one potential resource available to you and call upon us as needed, even if we only sometimes come through for you.

And here's sending you hugs and well-wishes!

And maybe, with shorter days here during Fall, some depression, combined with the prospect of more depression, that can be a pretty lousy combination.

I remember a study of war stress among civilians during World War II. The greatest stress was not among those civilians already living in areas under military occupation. The greatest stress was among civilians next to a war area facing the prospect of military occupation.

JellyBean, my mood plummets in Autumn/Winter as well. When spring comes, I almost feel like I've come out of hibernation.

The only way to maintain a sane mood is regular physical activity surrounded by other people.

The WORST thing you can do is spend time alone, indoors. Thinking, analyzing. ANYTHING is better than that. So go do ANYTHING but that.

My son grows marijuana in his basement. He has a medical marijuana card and can grow 7 plants for himself legally. I plan to go sit under those lights in the winter.

I also find myself getting depressed around this time, every year. This year it's worse. I'm just going to deal with it, alone. That woman seems like a real piece of work. I think that you should tell a professional, who really cares to listen.

SAD seems like a real possibility and definitely worth pursuing. Here are two links to light visors:
http://www.sadlight.com/feelbright.htm

http://discounthanddryers.com/NEW-North ... ce=froogle

Unfortunately, they seem to run about 200 bucks plus.

Thanks. I am looking into light box therapy and have (amazingly) found one for £40 on Amazon. It's probably not as good as those £200+ ones but it's better than nothing. I'm going to see my GP at some point to ask about all my options. My house manager is aware of the situation with this staff member and is dealing with it. I've been getting out more the past couple of days which has helped so I am going to keep pushing myself hard.

Good for you! And I find it incredible that NHS (National Health Service in the UK?) doesn't pay for light therapy? I mean, Wow. I could see ten years ago or so when the research was more in the early stages. But today? I think it is pretty well established.