I think my brother's dangerous

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I haven't seen my brother in about two and a half years. I stopped trying to keep up a relationship with him because he's very unstable and got into dealing drugs and hanging with a bad crowd. He's also unpredictable in that he'll be really angry with me out of the blue - he's ok one day then very cryptic the next. He threatens our dad and makes my sister upset by calling her and provoking her. Now he's looking for me and I really don't want him around. He doesn't know my address or number but it's not that hard to find since everyone else in the family knows it. He was recently talking about how he, my sister and dad and I are all somehow intrinsically evil and then he started talking about guns and killing people. Then he showed up at my grandmother's in tears at 5:30AM. She thought maybe he'd done something really bad. He said he just wants his family, but he's alienated us. I have no idea at what point authorities should be involved.

Our uncle has encouraged him to go see a psychiatrist and said he'd go with him.

And I'm just sort of sad. If I didn't feel so empty I'd be scared he'd show up.

I feel sorry for him but don't know how to deal with him.

He's 23, I'm 35. He's always had these expectations of me as though I'm more like an aunt/parent though I was only around for a year and a half when he was a baby. He blames me for not providing enough emotional support than I possibly could have when I was only a kid myself. He blames me for not visiting enough when we were growing up, but I had a contentious relationship with his mother and our dad.

Ugh, so if you've read all this, thanks. I'm alone this weekend and a little unnerved. I feel like crying but can't.

wish i knew what to say that would help you.....but i don't. i've never had anyone to care about me. sometimes i think that it is really sad, but then i hear about people in your situation and i think i'm fortunate to have always been alone.

sounds like you would help your brother if you could. i'm thinking, you can't. he needs more than a shoulder. your uncle probably has the right idea.

best to you and your family.

Here's a hug. :O)

Thanks, both of you. Yeah, I have no idea what to do about it really. I guess I just needed to say it.

I can really understand what you are going thought, I have some cousins and and older sister that I don't want
anywhere near me, I have gone as far as changing my name, my only advice for you would be to warn family to
not divulge your address or phone number, You don't owe your brother anything, and deserve to be able to
protect your well being

Thanks, Friskeygirl. My mom and sister won't tell him where I work or my address or number. I asked my grandmother not to give him my info which she agreed to. I think though if he pressed her for it she might give it just because she doesn't think he's dangerous. And the only reason she doesn't is because she doesn't know what he's said in chats with my sister and brother-in-law.

My sister's afraid he might show up at the school where I teach if he finds out which one it is.

I wish someone I'd held and loved as a baby didn't scare me as a man. Weird how life turns things around.

Based on this situation, I'd suggest contacting the police and state what is going on and your sister should do the same. Also get a restraining order to keep him away. I know this sounds harsh, but you have every right to protect yourself and if he does end up in custody, I'd recommend asking the court or crown prosecutor about giving him a psych evaluation in the psych ward while he is in custody. The court can order it if he is in police/remand custody and facing charges.

Thank you, Tory_canuck. I hadn't thought beyond the current state. Your thoughts are very helpful.

Thanks, Stonecold. I think the police couldn't really do anything yet since he hasn't done anything, but I'm going to ask the police officer who works at my school tomorrow - he'll know for sure.

SSSTAY AWAYYY!! ! I stay away from my parents because they are SICK. I don't feel guilty and I feel my kids are safer away from them.

Thank you, RightGalaxy. I have indeed stayed away from him for several years and don't have any plans on seeing him in the near future.

Today I talked to a police officer at work who told me if my brother mentions suicide (with the intention of doing it of course) or talks about killing other people, that we can call the cops in his town, give them the address and tell them what he's said. Then they can take him into custody and hold him for up to 72 hours to do a psychiatric evaluation. If he becomes difficult during that time they can extend the amount of time they hold him. Good to know, I suppose.