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zeldapsychology
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24 Oct 2010, 10:52 am

With the negativity from my parents I some times sadly question about doing good in college. About getting good grades a good job etc. :-( Have you doubted yourself due to what others say to you and if so how did you over come it?



Sven2
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24 Oct 2010, 12:43 pm

I can not even begin to tell you how many times I have doubted myself because of the messages given by parents, other adults while growing up, teachers/professors, and especially peers. To this day, I have feelings of unworthiness and mental inadequacies even though I have gone on to get a master's degree in business.

To a point self-doubt can be a good thing and may give you an edge on overly confident people because you will take the time to think about alternatives and new directions. Contrary to popular opinion, self-doubting business professionals are usually the ones who "think outside the box" (I hate that cliche because I have never been able to think inside the box), generate new market ideas, and create innovative techniques in manufacturing and information technologies.

Unfortunately, an excessive amount of self-doubt can cause paralysis (often called paralysis by analysis) and appear as procrastination. It is often not a matter that you are procrastinating because you don't care. Rather, it is a matter of procrastinating because you doubt you decision-making process so much that you don't want to make a decision. Overcoming self-doubt can be very difficult and sometimes you simply won't be able to stop doubting yourself and just have to make a decision. (In marketing this is referred to as buyer's remorse and is common even among NT people.)

I have found one of the best ways of overcoming self-doubt, as well as creating a tool for demonstrating to others how you came upon a decision, is to create a decision matrix. A decision matrix involves listing the things you need and things you want/desire. Then list how a particular solution, or solutions, meet items on the list. This helps you understand what you really need compared to things that are simply "nice-to-haves". It also helps you make a comfortable decision that you aren't likely to keep doubting.

In terms of dealing with self-doubt due to test anxiety... If time allows, I try to think about the question as an essay question and work out the answer through determining possibilities and trying to determine which possibility fits the question best. This technique is only mildly effective for me but it got me through undergraduate schooling. In graduate school most of the tests were essays so I could write out my thoughts and explain reasoning. I did much better when I could explain my reasoning.

Hope this helps.



Moog
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24 Oct 2010, 1:45 pm

I do doubt myself. All my doubters are internal though; everyone around me seems to think I'm far more capable, competent, intelligent, attractive etc. than I ever think I am. It wasn't always like that though. It's quite interesting to note how incredibly affective our early life experiences can be.


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SuperApsie
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24 Oct 2010, 1:51 pm

Oh yeah a doubt about anything anytime, sometimes I watch my hand moving and ask myself if I really exist :)

I agree with Sven2, lists are good, doubt rises when you are given something as "as it should be" but collide with a deeper belief in you. Ask yourself questions, compare, rationalize, axialize until you find the right one and if you don't, leave your mind open so you will catch the answer whenever it comes by.

My first thought is that you need a goal, and college is likely be on the path. Working to solve problems, creating or improving stuff is more likely to be a goal.


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Moog
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24 Oct 2010, 1:56 pm

SuperApsie wrote:
Oh yeah a doubt about anything anytime, sometimes I watch my hand moving and ask myself if I really exist :)


I do that too. I seem to always have this feeling hanging over me that all the rules of existence I've painfully learned over my life could suddenly be turned upside down at any time.


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CockneyRebel
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24 Oct 2010, 3:14 pm

There have been many times in my past that I've doubted myself, due to what my parents thought that my ability level was. There was one period that I was working in a factory and I had it in my mind that I was there, because that was all that I would ever be able to do. There were a couple of movies that I wanted to make comic book series of, and I doubted myself because of my mum and sister saying that Austin Powers wasn't going to be popular forever. I was also doubting whether I'd be living on my own at one point. I got rid of that doubt. I've always had doubts of being an athlete since I broke my right ankle ice skating, at the age of nine. There have been many times that I've doubted myself.


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