why Im jealous of my friend and dont like her help!

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Hey everyone

This is mostly a rant of my thoughts, but I appreciate if some one please tell me they know how I feel or anything!

I have a nice friend. Shes a really likable person. She also has a nice family who all go to church while nobody but me does in my family. Alot of other teens and adults really like her. What I like about her is her really good leadership skills. Like if were in groups and everythings screwed up, she can give us "jobs" to do and everythings fixed! She schedules dates for church and school events. A lot of people in school like her. but sometimes I think me and most people shouldnt be friends with her because shes too "good" for us. My mind starts lying to me. It says she really is too good for me. I have very high self esteem until she shows up. She just ruins me and she doesnt even do anything! Today in church we were packing for operation christmas child and I was having a good time til"the best one" showed up. Its not that I want the attention. I must be jealous of her. We both have boyfriends also from church. Idont think I care if my boyfriend talks to her. I must deep down. They are really good friends for 10 years. Trust me, they wouldnt do anything to make me not trust them together. He talks to her as soon as she arrives at church. Its not that he ignores me or Im jealous. Something must bother me deep down. Or maybe its that her and her boyfriend dont leave eachother in church and me and mine do. I had my boyfriend 7 months and her a few weeks, so nobodys growing apart. This is really dumb, but in youth group Im told not to sit too close to him, but my friend kisses her boyfriend right outside the building!! !

You can pm me if you want more information.

if sitcom and drama television has taught me anything, it's that those people with the most perfect persona's about them have the deepest and dirtiest skeletons in the closet.

Forget it Im talking to a counselor tomorrow

Hey.

You know, in life, there's always going to be someone that's better than you at something. I think with your friend, she's naturally gifted in some areas, like leadership and overall, she's likable as you mentioned. There's nothing wrong with feeling a little bit of jealousy. With the friendship that you have with her, you can learn how to develop those skills just by watching her lead or you can talk to her about her thought process. It's good that you recognize those false thoughts (how she's too good for your group) because she likes hanging around you and your friends; that's why she's around you guys. Plus, you may have some great qualities that she wishes she has. Oh, and with the boyfriend talking to her, maybe it's because you feel left out of the conversation? I don't know; just a thought.

Why are you friends with someone you don't like?

Anyway, you are correct that this is an issue that stems from within you, and she is entirely innocent in the matter.

I think you need to start looking at your friend in a different light. What if there were not people in this world who were natural born leaders? I will tell you what, things would be a mess and nothing would get done.

I know this because I often have to work on project teams. Sometimes a project manager leads the team...this is a person who is assigned the position of leader. Sometimes a member within the team naturally takes the role of project manager. Or, sometimes no one steps up to it.

When no one steps up to the role, things usually turn out very very poorly.

People are not clear what their responsibilities are.
There is no clear communication.
Things don't get done in time.
People usually start to argue and point fingers.

A good project manager can identify who is best suited for what task.
The can form a plan in their head and coordinate it.
They maintain group communication and cohesion.
They make sure everyone is where they need to be, and are doing what they need to do.
And if something goes wrong, they take responsibility.

I've been a project manager before and it's a difficult task. If someone has a natural inclination for it, more power to them. Be glad they exist.

And I have to add, natural born leaders are not better than everyone else. They are better than most people at leading. They fall short in many other areas.