i am starting to feel like i don't have AS

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i don't feel like the typical AS person. i don't feel that smart, i feel stupid compared to most of the people on here. i am horrible at arguing. help me out here guys

Feelings can be misleading

You can do something good, most of the time it is stuff you like.

No need to be smart to be able. If you think you are stupid compared to people here, then you are probably still above average on the general population.

If you can't argue that well, get someone who is to do it for you. No need to be elaborate too, it just looks more impressive.

Cheerfully,
Wallourdes

no one is AS, really. It is just a name that the people in charge would like to give you so they can label you and put you under microscope. Your entire being is differrent, you are the future, you are advanced, they don't know what to do with you. Spread your wings.

There is NO such thing as typical AS. You can't define a label by a person, in the same way as you cannot define a person by a label. If people who know you very well and whose judgement you can trust recognize that you have AS, then you have it. If you yourself feel at a discord with the rest of the world because of aspects of yourself that match AS traits, then you have AS. You don't have to be smart to have AS, even though I'm 99% sure that you are underestimating your abilities by saying that you are not smart. Absolutely no one in this world has the exact same set of skills as anyone else, because everyone's brain is unique in one way or another.

Why am I replying to this message? Because I've felt the same as you a couple of times before. But it's not rational at all.

There have been aspies here who have claimed they aren't good at arguing and don't like doing it. Check out my old thread "Some people unable to argue" just google it to find it. You're not alone.

I also don't feel like a typical aspie because I am not. I'm different. I am not textbook AS nor have the stereotypes. Other aspies have better gifts than me. I feel mine are dull and there are aspies who were able to pursue in their special interests as their career while I wasn't. But I know not all aspies pursue in theirs, look at cockney for example, she doesn't have a career in driving routemasters or richardbenson doesn't have a career in fire agates or baseball cards, or flaggygirl having no career in her flags. That makes me feel better because I am not alone. I could have tried to pursue in autism spectrum disorders but I don't think I'd be good. Hey even my ex didn't pursue in his special interests for a career.


I think it's a myth now that aspies loves to argue and are great at it. Plus I recently learned just because an aspie argues doesn't mean they like it. They may be doing it to get their point across or they want to be understood and have you listen to them and their views but they have a hard time not arguing about it because they have to say it. I think that it''s maybe a false assumption people make about AS that they love to argue. People figure if you don't like to argue, you wouldn't do it and would run away from it and avoid it. If you do it, you must love it or why would you be doing it?
And there are other speculations I have about why we love to argue, we may not realize we are arguing and we are just trying to get the person to understand what we are saying but we may not realize they have their own perception and point of view and they are just not agreeing. We think they don't get it because of our lack of TOM so we think they aren't understanding what we are saying so a none ASD person assumes we always have to be right and we argue till they agree with us and we will argue with them until they are worn out.
Also asking questions because we want things to make sense, a none ASD person may see that as us arguing with them when really, we just want to know why because we are more logical.
So people say we just love doing it. I can't remember how many times I have gotten accused of arguing with people when I was doing these things. I have also been told I love to argue so I just say I love to argue just because they say so and if I didn't like it, I would just drop the topic and not care and not keep it going. And I have also been told I am good at it. Now it's been a while since I last got accused of it. My husband is the only one who says I argue with him and it's over little things usually according to him. Either I am around smarter people or I just learned to shut up more. I learned to not ever disagree with your boss or correct them or say something is stupid to do and it doesn't make any sense. They call that an argument. That could be why. Sometimes it slips but none of them have ever said a word about it. Maybe because they let it slip or because they aren't so sensitive like my boss was in Montana so they can take criticism. I did it more often in Montana but here I did it less so that could also be why and if I did it all the time, then they'd be telling me "Don't argue with me."

It's usually the special interests that drive your life, I remember when I was 16, I went to the public library and randomly picked that book:
http://www.amazon.com/Lectures-Psycho-A ... 0393008479

It was a book that gave me another perspective on reality, allowed me to understand other, made me less fearless (because I was also in a public place) Try it, go to a library, watch the titles and pick the one that seem strange, read the description, if it won't wake up curiosity, pick another.

If you join the "strange", "interesting" and "might be useful for my life" impression, read it.

I can't argue properly a lot of the time because I'm scared of saying something wrong and having my intelligence insulted. The only time I will argue is when I know the subject at hand very well.

Arguing can also be overwhelming because you have to think about your perspective and the other person's perspective at the same time.