Overcoming Yourself (Elaborating Self-Esteem, etc)

Post Reply New Topic

So I've found that much of the people I know that perceive their life, their problems, and pretty much everything negatively are very set on staying in that mindset. In other words, if a person thinks the world is crumbling around them, when one tries to cheer them up, they will defend their opinion of their situation to no end, even if their circumstances are nowhere near as hopeless as they make it out to be. It almost seems as though a depressed person wants to stay depressed. Am I the only one to notice such a phenomenon?

Would appreciate feedback

Because people hold on to that which is familiar. If all you ever know is misery, then you take comfort in misery. It's cowardly...which is why they don't go out and try new things, because it might make them happy, and that would threaten their identity of misery.

Hmm... a good point. I have also noticed an impaired sense of judgement and logic in such folks, which I assume is for a similar reason XP

nobody's perfect.

I think cheer up is not the right word here. I would say that cheering up someone is an action completely unrelated to the context. If you do cheer up, you create an unrelated diversion and there is nothing to defend. (ok I might be wrong on the meaning of the word, I carry on anyway)
- Saying, "let's go shopping" is not a cheer up, because it reveals there is a problem and it has to be avoided
- Telling a joke is a cheer up. Unrelated, impossible to link with the problem

As for the reason why people do this
- It is a message: "I need help" and "and I need a meaningful help" not just a way to forget about it because:
- The is no obvious solution and whatever you do it will come back anyway. Or
- The solution to solve the problem is too extreme and is about a whole chunk of the personality, and they give you clues when they defend their position. Or
- They are naturally insecure and a problem can wake a lot of unsolved dormant problems. Or
- There might be guilt involved and the person feel the need to punish himself by looking miserable

Nothing is illogical. If you come to that conclusion, it means you are missing something that would give perfect sense to everything, it should be a reflex for every aspie to investigate anything that seems illogical. Everything is in the context

This is why I watch Jon Stewart almost religiously...