It's an uphill battle.

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I'm tired of being seen as odd. I'm tired of people getting creeped out or being pissed off when I enter the room of their field of vision. I'm tired of not being a social butterfly. I'm tired of being the only one in my small circle of friends and acquaintances that hasn't had an relationship and hasn't had sex yet. I'm sick of my neglible social skills. I'm just sick of having autism, period. I want to take EVERYTHING that autism has given me and set it on fire.

Lately, I've been feeling like I'm just a f*ck up in life. I'm doing OK in school, even though I got some worthless professors that discourage me from learning. I do OK when I was working even though I had to put up with ridicule. But what is killing me is my lack of a social life. I want friends. I want to be in a relationship. I want to spend less time on the computer or at home. However, I manage to piss off people, people who called me a "friend" have taken advantage of me, and so on. Someone said to me I've have matured quite a bit over the last couple years and he could tell I have more confidence. A close friend tells me that I don't look too bad. But what good is this when you don't have the social skills to back it up. I feel like I need to be retaught how to socialize and pick up on social cues from square one again.

As hard as it is, your social skills will improve over time. It's not fair that you have to learn what everyone else already knows, but there's nothing you can do about it. It's better to focus on improving your skills. The good news is, since your problem seems to be a turn-off to most people, you'll know when you find a true friend. They'll a person who sticks with you even when you're having trouble communicating and making friends, and when you say something inappropriate or odd. I know it's hard now, but if you trudge through a bit longer, I'm sure things will improve for you.

i think i understand what you mean, and i wish i had an easy answer. i don't, so how about some hugs?

(((((hugs)))))

I'm trying to book an appointment with an therapist ASAP. This whole dating, relationships and friendship thing is just something I'll never win. I'm not willing to date someone from a 3rd world country as some in Love and Dating advocate for. I just want some semblance of a social life and when once I feel I have worked on the basics I'll work on dating.

what do you notice about yourself that turns people off. Like, give an example of why you can't make a friend or girlfriend

All the sex chat going in L&D and the adult forum has struck a chord with me. I'm f*****g sick with myself. No matter how hard I try to better myself or even try to initiate a conversation with the other sex, I get my ass handed to me.

Maybe I should have killed myself back in high school. I don't think I'll ever get a girlfriend by the rate of how things are going for me. Jumping in front of a bus sounds like a tempting idea now.

don't believe that all the braggart posters are really telling the truth about their exploits. at least a few of them are behaving like the lyrics from a typical rap song. there are psychic vampires who gain-say themselves to make others feel inferior, so don't you let 'em do it to you.



if you give in to your despair, you let the dark side win. you don't want that. your postings here on WP lead me to believe you have a fine and well-functioning brain. you are intelligent enough to think your way through your present situation. you CAN do it. don't give up and make your years up to this point a futility. please don't leave the other people [there ARE "other" people in your life who care, whether or not you are presently aware of them] by your premature passing. you are still young and vital, and you have many years ahead of you to learn and explore and become wise. you were meant to be here for a reason or reasons, not all of which are immediately apparent and in fact you may not get the whole picture until late in life. ted turner said "life is like a b-grade movie, in that while you wouldn't want to leave before it ended, neither would you want to see it again." don't you want to stick around long enough to see how the picture ends?

Well, on one side I don't have much family(nor do I equate myself with them) nor that many friends. On the other hand, once people get to know me I'm actually a good person to be around. I'm a firm believer in the journey, not the destination. I'm no longer in suicidal meltdown mode right now. I'll stay on my current course and trackings, and hopefully I'll find that special someone at one of those waypoints.

way to go, sport

yes. sorry i missed this. you are definitely an amazing, intelligent, goodlooking, worthwhile person. please don't let other people's bragging get to you. they probably are riding high and don't even realize that they could be having an impact like this.

(((hugs)))

Sorry if my talking about sex and whatnot makes you uncomfortable - but the forums are not JUST for being depressed. If you don't like the posts don't read them. It's never to make anyone else uncomfortable or unhappy. I can't help that i'm happy at the minute.

wow, that was harsh.

it probably has more to do with the spammy nature of the multiple threads that a group of you are posting incessantly in. we have been kind to you when you are down. can you be kind to someone else when they are down, even if the situation involves you?

How am I not being kind?
It's a genuine apology.

you said, "Sorry...BUT", which means that you don't think he has a reason to be upset. for example, if i say to you, "sorry i hurt your feelings BUT i am allowed to say whatever i want"... that really isn't an apology at all.

and then you told him off by telling him just not to read the threads that upset him (which doesn't make sense - he cannot know if the threads will upset him before he even reads them.)

this is The Haven. did people talk to you like this when your friend hit you? or when you were robbed?

I'm not being hurtful!
I am allowed my own opinion, I can't help how I am, I just thought a little positivity in the forums would be nice, obviously I was wrong- and i've apologised and I won't post threads which are cheerful in the future.

I can't see what else I can do?
I don't want an argument - I just wanted to apologise for making nthach uncomfortable.
Sorry if it came across in a horrible way - it was completely unintentional.

i understand i think. thanks for explaining.

when i was teacher we'd teach students to make an apology in a certain way, as it comes across in the most genuine way possible:

it's in 2 parts -
1. the apology "i'm sorry"
2. a statement of what you are apologizing about

so it's something like this: "i'm sorry that i hurt your feelings."

and that's all. people usually add part 3: the reasons behind the actions that hurt someone, but it ends up sounding like an excuse, and then the apology feels like justification.