Coping with job loss, loneliness, drastic thoughts

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I recently lost my well-paying job because of typical Aspie traits: the need to be thorough, sudden changes scope of tasks, and difficulty making deadlines, although I am a competent person. It was software development.

I am coping with trying to get unemployment compensation, because although I technichally resigned voluntarily, it was after suffering a bunch of verbal harassment from management, and them going back on offers to let me renegotiate deadlines.

I'm middle-aged and afraid I have no future.

I do not have a support structure in the area since I just moved here a year ago. Days are getting almost unbearable, and I am turning to drink (not excessive to the point of drunkenness, but taking the edge off). I do not like these developments in my routine. Lately suicidal thoughts have entered my head - just leave my cats with my elderly parents and slip away. Any thoughts on how to cope? Thanks.

hiya,

right i shall say now i am prehaps not the best person to give advice, but as no one else has said anything i will.

First of all, i know it may be hard but look up. remeber although you are new here you are always welcome in the chat to discuss any issues.

Software development are useful skills, I am certain that you wil be able to geta job in the same field, as for meeting deadline and stuff, have you considerd contacting a university? they often have projects with extreme timetable so that htye are thouragh.

hope this helps.

jammie

Actually Jammie I think this might of been passed over. Anyway AspCat I know what you mean in all the changes taking place in your routines. None of us like changes. I know all about suicidal thoughts and the feeling of just climbing into your own world and hide away. I think you're getting sides of Depression which comes along with thoughts of suicide depends on the worst that it. I went into a mental hosptial twice for Suicidal thoughts and ways to kill my self. Don't waste your health away by drinking. I think you might check your self into a mental hospital if things get worse and that you might actually attempt killing your self.

You're right on the mark with the wanting to hide away bit. To me the feeling is just wanting to float in suspended animation and not feel anything, or just spend the rest of my life with my cats. I've got a certain rapport with cats and I love it when they purr.

The middle of the night is the worst time. I don't know if this is a particularly Aspie thing, but I wake up and everything seems so ummmm pins and needles, you know, thoughts in bold relief. And it always moves to the most dire thoughts imaginable, like I'm never going to have another job I like, I'll lose my dwelling, etc.

That's where I am today. Thanks for stopping by.

i don't know if it an aspie thing, but what you just described describes how i feel and what is happaning to me in one fell swoop.

jammie

I have been in some pretty dark places at times, so I will just share a few things I have found that work for me.

St Johns Wort
Lots of sunlight
Exercise
Meditation with emphasis on holding the mind on positve thoughts

Depression is a cycle which reinforces itself. The thoughts create a neurochemical environment which can be hard to escape. You can adjust these chemicals through exercise etc. Then work on controlling your thoughts, and learning how to stay out of that negative zone.

I hope things turn around for you.
Don't give up.

For me, Vitamin C seems to help. And I agree, excerise is great. It is VERY important to keep moving. Join the local YMCA or a health club. It's is also pretty to be around people. It prevents you from isolating and forces to you to socialize, even at a minimum level.

dude you sound depressed, if there are plenty of tears then yip your depressed, but you can recognise depressin and then deal with it, i was depressed fro 4 years didnt know it. at least you can be aware you are depressed...i think you are.
go to some self help groups in your area...you get to meet people.......and chat, they need you too.......have you ever seen fight club..like that dude.
youll get through it, we all have.

I'm not the best person to give advice on this one, but I have certainly experienced what it is to lose a job due to AS. I hope this post doesn't sound too egocentric, but I can relate to your troubles with my own story.

I've been fired from every job I ever had, except for my current parttime job where the employer knows about my difficulties associated with AS and seems willing to accommodate me. I'm 42 years old, and I do know what it is like to get fired and come home to an empty house, except in my case I have had children to worry about.

In those down times where I felt like I might lose my sanity, I always went out everyday for a good long walk. During those periods I absolutely had to walk or get some form of exercise to keep the depression at bay. At one point, to break my isolation, I went out to feed the homeless. This was the only work I could do, or the only work where I could be useful, so I did it. I joined a group that was protesting against homelessness and trying to assist poor people to organize against cuts to social services. That work was very useful to fill the void left by all the failures in my life, and I met alot of people. It was scary for me to do that, because as an aspie I am not very good at socializing with others. I forced myself out of the house because I couldn't stand to be so isolated. Indirectly, I met my current partner, who also has AS.


It sounds to me like you need financial assistance based on disability. If you have a diagnosis of AS you could go on disability pension and still have earned income. It is possible to be on disability pension and continue to work and earn income as long as you are able. The disability pension would be reduced after you earned a certain amount, but would be there for the periods that you find yourself unemployed. Many people on disability pension are able to work and earn income intermittently, or with special accommodation, yet still need a pension for inevitable periods of unemployment.

Aspcat please check your PMs, I have PMed you.