So late... but oh God I did it again!

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Way back in August before I started my second college course, I decided that I was sick of being afraid and that I was going to change, talk to girls and ultimately get a girlfriend.

I planned for so long, going on the internet, looking at step-by-step guides on how to iniate conversation, studying examples of social behaviour towards women (since all people in real life have a secret code that is locked to Aspies, and I'm probably not even joking). I'm afraid I never went ahead with my planning at all.

When I started in September, I first had to get over the nightmare of starting college in the first place, so I didn't think too much about the girls, just keeping myself alive. The first month or so, I went through phases of interest in different girls, which I still have never iniated conversation with because I am too scared.

Then it was just one particular girl, who to this day I have always had a crush on, haven't stopped thinking about for the past few months. I have never, ever spoken to her, but no other guy really has, so it has been a perfect opportunity to do so for such a long time. ...But I have never known what to do in the first place.

Oh God I screwed up big time! It is way too late to even attempt it because she would think it was weird that the strange long-haired guy on his own in the corner suddenly came over and spoke to her after 4 months.

I also feel that there is no point in trying, since I am a recluse, a video game and Warcraft nerd, I only like music pre-2000's, have very few friends, never use my mobile phone, I don't have a job, and above all, I have AS!

I have been in so much pain, physically in the heart over her for so long. I haven't gotten over her and cannot! It is a new year and by God I have to do something about this! How in the world to I get the confidence??Help!

I don't really know what to say apart from 'just go for it'...even though I know that sounds really scary, hah. I am interested though about how you can have such a big crush on her if you have never even spoken to her before. How is that possible? I am not saying it's not, I just don't understand, I guess.

I was there about a year ago. You know what changed? I did. I stopped worrying about it; in essence, I gave up. And then the floodgates opened. Women are attracted to guys who don't care. Then I started caring again, and I no longer attract women like I did. Oh well, small price to pay.

I hope I am not misinterpreting what you wrote, but you mentioned that none of the other guys has spoken much to this girl. So does she spend a lot of time on her own? Do you get the impression that she might be a bit shy and lonely herself? If so, that might be just the right thing to start this conversation.

Walk over to her and say something along the lines of "I have noticed that you seem to spend a lot of time alone and I was wondering whether you would like to drink a coffee with me. I would really like to talk to you, because I would like to get to know you a bit better." Try not to appear pushy or intimidating, a friendly smile can do wonders here.

The worst she can so is to refuse and continue to keep to herself, but if she really is lonely and secretly wishing for company, anything from an easy-going friendship of shared coffee-breaks to a full-grown relationship might develop from this.

Sorry if I have made it sound like that, she has just 2 other female friends in the class, but yes she is quite shy. I wish there could be a situation along the lines of how you put it .

After posting this I'm having different thoughts. I saw her today and just didn't really care. I get like this with thoughts scatting about from time to time. I wish I didn't have these obsessions so I could do what I plan to do and start talking to women when I'm an adult, but for now happily focusing only on my artistic interests.

But for me it doesn't work like that .

My problem is I am always wishing for a girlfriend somehow, not focusing on my talents and getting depressed about it, because I have been brainwashed by the media and everyone around me that having a girlfiend / someone to love / sex is the only thing that will make life better.

But I know in the end I just do not have the confidence to do anything about it. I don't know if getting overly obsessed is just being a teenager / human, or just my problem.