How's an aspie supposed to HELP???????????

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So slightly recently I began to realize that my friends, who aren't aspies, are pretty screwed up in their own way anyway. I'm not saying that being an aspie is to be a screw up, okay? But it is true that a lot of us feel messed up beyond repair, and this feeling isn't exclusive to people with aspergers of course.
So one of my friends does open up to me, I can see how much pain she feels, she may not be screwed up like I am but she also has her own deep issues and what sucks is that I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ;_; I felt so awful, but this wasn't about me, it was about her and all I could think of was holy crap, how am I going to help her? How am I going to make her feel better?
I think I made things worse, I think I just made her sadder because I was just so lame and maybe condescending and flat and boring, I couldn't ease her grief OR cheer her up. Either would have been good but I couldn't manage it at all. It was a stab in the gut when she logged off without another word after my horrible attempt at cheering her up god what was I THINKING?????????????
I can't even help myself, much less a friend who needed the special attention, love, care, and friendship that I TRIED and FAILED to give.
I didn't think I could hate myself so much more than I already do, but what do you know.

No one has all the right answers. When I tell someone something that comforts them, I'm lucky.

For some reason, I've been a magnet for people who have suffered unimaginable loss. Death of a child, Murder of a child, Serious illness... you name it and there's someone who leans on me for support to cope with it. Even my own husband has had an unreasonable amount of things going on and he's very empathic so every time I need someone to lean on, I drag him down with me, so I have to be careful about what I show.

I have these inner anxiety attacks, not knowing what to say and being so afraid that I'm going to say the wrong thing. But I try to look at things objectively and understand their point of view. I try to tell them something that I know is true. Just do your best and stay honest. Sometimes life is just hard and it sucks. Sometimes that's the only thing you can say. Most of the time, people really just want to be heard and understood.

you can help by getting those feelings out. Find out what makes her sad and ask her if she can figure out how to make it better. You work together to solve the problem as opposed to trying to heal her yourself. You can both brainstorm of ways out of your situation together. Look for your strengths. What are you good at. What inspires you? What is she good at? What inspires her?