Just when I think everything is going well and I'm finally learning to deal with life, something happens and I just lose it. Screaming, sometimes breaking something, I don't know what else.
I hate this.
It happens less frequently than it used to and I thought I was adapting better overall. Then, when something like this happens, I doubt that it will ever get easier. This is the fourth time this month that I have had one of these meltdowns in some form or another. I feel like a two-year-old and that's just really sad.
If you ever feel like this, what do you do? In the moment, I am so worked up I can't see a way out of my own mind. Later, I am so exhausted, it's hard to function (and I don't have the option not to). I remember what upset me, but not why it was so upsetting or how to chance the circumstances surrounding me so that I won't get so upset next time. It usually has to do with change, which I have to deal with a lot and find incredibly stressful.
Some days, existing seems like so much effort.
26 Jan 2011, 1:29 pm
