Does anyone ever feel… not right?

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It's a mixture of depression and a sort of slight madness. Like I find myself doing odd things (like asking my mum if she would like an iPhone) and being very… obsessive and weird. And drunk. Like I don't know what direction life is taking me in. Like I'm going nowhere.

I'm obsessed with sex at the moment. I just feel… odd. Like I don't fit. Like I'm incompatible. I've always felt incompatible but never quite in this way before. I feel like I don't fit, don't belong. I want to be loved. I know my mum loves me, and she tells me so, but I don't quite love myself if that sounds right.

Also, I have rather embarrassing rants when I'm inebriated. As well as don't drink and drive ('cos you'll spill it), you shouldn't drink and post.

I'm on medication (60mg/day) but I sort of feel unstable. Like I'm looking for approval. I have lost three stone but have a lot more to lose.

I don't really have that much of an interest in my usual pursuits and feel 'cut adrift' from everyone else at the moment. It's really weird.

Any advice?

yeah...........i don't love myself either......im in a pretty awesome mood right now, but i doubt it will last. im tryin to keep the positive vibes going, but i feel being realistic is key too.

sometimes i wish life was a piece of cake - it's so hard to enjoy life's mystery when im predisposed to fail socially and otherwise.

i do hope things get better for you!

to the OP: i believe that if you engaged in daily vigorous physical exercise, that would accomplish two things-

*it would clear the cobwebs from your brain and make you think more clearly, and generate feel-good chemicals/endorphins to lift your mood. it might even lessen the need for pmeds.

*it would make you too tired to think of depressing things. you would fall asleep at the end of the day, straightaway.

just a thought. but i can say for a fact that it works for me.

You've just described me when I was your age. Exercise would help a lot. I went through the exact same thing when I was your age. The depression, madness and obsession with sex. All that happening after I saw a movie that I shouldn't have. I was also into the beer and the sauce. I was also losing interest in the things that made me the person that I was back than and the person that I am, in the present. I didn't know what was going on with me.

I also felt that there was no place in this world where I fit in and belonged. I'm a unique person so that was understandable, but I still wanted to find a place in the world that would welcome me with open arms, while accepting my uniqueness. I found that place a year later.

I hope that you have somebody to talk to about this. Somebody who knows what they're doing. I hope that things work out for you. You deserve the best. Hang in there.