When my medicine isn't working properly, or even sometimes when it is, I have the feeling that I don't want to live. Don't worry, this isn't a suicide thread...I would never hurt myself...don't have the balls and could never do that to my family...but it seems like I truly hate life...not my life, life in general.
I think most young people are sheeps and their goal in life is to go to the next bar or party and avoid any serious discussion about anything. It doesn't even matter what crowd...even the people that call themselves "nerds" aren't true nerds...they're just hipster hot topic people that still are extroverted and party.
Someone I know once said "Life is an uphill battle for those who dare to be different." The thing is, you can't even keep to yourself. When I go out to restaurants, I get young waitresses pointing and laughing at me for no reason other than the way I look. And if I stay at home, my hormones just take over and obsess over wanting to reproduce.
I suppose the good news is that I don't have subject anyone else to this. I can just ride out my life and when my parents are too old to care of me or pass away, I can just ride out the rest of my life in a hospital. I don't see how anyone can have a kid in this world...I mean young people, even when high school is over...are brutal. The idea that I could have a kid that gets picked on or worse yet a kid that is some wigger punk that picks on kids is a no go.
It also kind of scares me in general that aspies live on because aspie women can attract men regardless of their aspieness.
Nothing wrong with being Aspie...I like myself...I just think we were truly born on the wrong planet...aren't suited for the phoniness and shallowness of modern life.
19 Mar 2011, 8:50 pm
