felt like screaming tonight

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it's a long story.

Are you going to tell it?

I'm sorry about the emotions that you've gone through. I hope that you're feeling better soon.

I'd suggest isolating yourself and relieving stress by whatever means necessary. Cry, break something that you won't miss, scream into a pillow, write an angry letter. A run works for me.

Totally off-topic, but how does that work? That's like saying 'I pity you for having a functioning limbic system'.

Just had to put that out there...

Well, I've been through a lot over the last 15 years or so. Dealing with schizoaffective disorder, OCD, along with the Asperger's and ADD I have had all along.

People who don't haeev severe mental illness just don't understand.

And now I might have narcolepsy. My brother, getting an OTA degree, thinks he knows a lot about medical stuff with his two-year degree. He read the side effects of Abilify, and said, you're missing that Abilify causes drowsiness, and got this tone of voice that bothers me.

I talked to my sister about it, and she said that maybe my brother was tired of all illness excuses - can't do this, can't do that, because of the mental illness stuff. And now, maybe his is thinking, you can't get stuff done because of another illness.

It's like they just think I'm making excuses. I went through hell, I think, with the symptoms I used to have. My brother used to say, "the world does not revolve around [my name]". What he didn't seem to grasp was that I knew that, but I was crying out of help. The Clozaril was causing increased anxiety over what the OCD/Asperger's was causing. It was a nightmare.

So, in effect, they think I'm just making excuses, being 'needy', when I feel they should just ignore any more illness stuff and get on with life.

Plus, I'm nervous about this girl I met on OkCupid.

Ah, don't ignore it! Someone I love dearly is Schizoaffective. It's complete hell to live with. Don't ever let anyone dismiss your issues.

I have a 4 year Psych degree and it doesn't qualify me to hand out pharmaceutical advice! Always talk to you doctor or pharmacist about concerns!

From family experience- Abilify can make you sleepy. It's in the category of anti-psychotics, but is being used to treat other things. Most atypical anti-psychotics cause drowsiness. With Abilify, it depends on the dosage. The lower doses are usually more activating than sedating. Are your symptoms new? If so, it may be the Abilify. Perhaps something like Provigil could help you? It's used to treat narcolepsy, but many psychiatrists use it in combination with the atypical anti-psychotic to combat sleepiness. But only your DOCTOR can decide that for you!

Anyway. Whether it's a new disorder or side effect, don't ignore it. It sucks! You need support! *hugs* to you!

People say this to me too - more so because i can fake being 'normal' for short amount of times.

If you need to scream - go and do it! It's good for the soul!

Thanks for the hugs. I don't plan on switching antipsychotics right now - abilify works the best of any.

The narcolepsy is not yet diagnosed; I have sleep study this coming Monday-into-Tuesday, and the sleep specialist with monitor my sleep patterns at night and nap patterns in the day.... something to with with the way REM sleep and the brain works during naps, I forget.

I've had a tendency to need lots of sleep since I was late as an undergrad. EVEry antipscyhotic I have taken has made me drowsy.

Thanks, Abaisse.

Ya

I only have one thing to say, you can ignore it if you'd like, and I absolutely understand if you do, but please consider it.

The last line of this stood out a lot. I have a lot of friends that go through mental illnesses to extreme degrees, and still try to have relationships. Not one of them has been long term or healthy, because they weren't healthy enough to take care of themselves.

Don't try a relationship while you're going through all this. You aren't ready. Get healthy and in control, then seek someone to be with.

I disagree I think. The schizo- part of the schizoaffective disorder is nearly completely treated with ABilify. The OCD and affective parts of my problems are close to be taken care of. I was writing mostly of the past; today I am much better. My sleep study is tomorrow, and there are meds for narcolepsy. I've gotta start somewhere with relatsionship with women.

Your brother clearly is either letting his own emotions cloud his logic or doesn't know what he's talking about. I've completed two years of my psyc degree and I know enough to take someone seriously if they have schizo-affective disorder. That is a serious illness. Not the sort of illness you can just shrug off and continue on with things like you have no worries in your life. Let alone the other disorders you're dealing with; AS, OCD, etc. It's ok to ask for help, or to admit you're struggling.

Thanks. That was a really nice thing to say. CAn I give you a hug?

Haha sure.