Feeling really down lately

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Last October my mom broke up with her boyfriend, Jason Shetler, and 4 days later he committed suicide by crashing his truck into a big rig in another lane. He was always my favorite of her boyfriends and he was the closest thing i had to a fatherfigure in bout 12 years of my life. I cried for bout 2 weeks and I was seemingly fine but for some reason today i remembered him and started crying and im trying to not be noticeable since im in class at the moment and im just glad no one has noticed yet. But i dont know why this is starting now, I mean i already did my crying.....a lot of it, and so shouldnt I be over this? All I know is I'm very depressed lately, I have been seriously isolating myself from my friends and talking less and less for the past 2 weeks


and recently the song I'll Be Missing You came on by PDiddy and it just made things worse

I believe that grief can come both when you do and don't expect it. I have a friend who recently gave a presentation in honor of someone, and while he or she said that they didn't cry at that person's funeral, they began to cry while they were giving the presentation. You say that you think you should be over this since you've cried already. Don't give your grief a time limit, or any type of limit for that matter. Just know that it is always okay to cry no matter how much time has passed.

I'm really sorry for your loss. It was clearly a significant one. To expect to be "over this" in a matter of a few months (let alone two weeks) just isn't realistic. Take it easy on yourself, and give yourself whatever time you need. Everyone grieves at a different rate. You may feel this loss for a very long time. But, it will get better and easier to handle as time passes.

Sometimes doing something concrete can help. I don't know what will appeal to you, but visiting his gravesite might help. I'm guessing he wasn't completely alone in the world, so maybe writing a letter to one of his loved ones -- parents, siblings -- telling them how much he meant to you would help everyone involved. Maybe you can think of something even more appropriate, given that you knew him so well.

I'm sorry about your loss.

in addition i can feel all my friends slipping away from me as well I think its due to the isolation but I dont know why i cant seem to be able to be around anyone at the moment I try and I cant

we arent exactly on good terms with the family, we werent even invited to Jason's funeral so I actually dont know where he is buried at