don't belong

Post Reply New Topic

I don't feel like I belong here.

Other people here hate authority, but I like it as long as its reasonable. Having someone else make the rules and having them apply to everyone really calms me down. I don't have to get all bent out of shape about other people breaking the rules when I know someone else will be there to enforce them.

AS is not a gift for me. It's not a curse either, but it brings me a lot of problems and I do think it is a disability. Some might look at me as successful because I have a boyfriend, but my AS is causing a lot of problems there too.

Sure, I made it through school and college without any accomodations, but that's because everyone ignored the social problems since I was seen as "smart". Now I'm about to graduate, and suddenly knowing stuff isn't enough. It doesn't help that I suck at typical aspie things - computer science, chemistry, math where you can get by on knowledge alone.

I almost get angry when I hear people saying "there are lots of mild aspies in the workplace" because I am mild and I've only had 2 jobs (and the first one only because my mom works there). And I was fired for my lack of social skills from one. How in the hell can these people find work and I can't?

And no matter how hard I try having a boyfriend isn't enough, I need an actual friend. Facebook has become the place where I see all my old friends hangingg out together but no one invites me when we all live in the same city.

And I am afraid I am overly empathetic, I just show it wong. I want eveyone to get along, and conflict gives me stomachaches. While I can come off as cold, I am really sensitive and cy easily.

I don't know. I'm a misfit even on the "wrong planet". I don't think there is a right planet for me

i like rules too.
i feel safer if someone else is controlling things.

actually, i pretty much relate with everything you've said.

hang in there.
you'll be okay.

I agree with you 100%! ! I DO belong here, though! I LOVE rules. I think I'd be GREAT in the military, because I like strict discipline and rule enforcement. People seek me out, like a leader, and it freaks me out. I'd hate to be a manager or something like that, cuz I don't think I could tell people what to do. I don't have authority problems...I just don't understand the authoritarian point of view sometimes and it scares me. I have trouble holding jobs, so I'm an unemployed college student. I feel your pain...friends are hard for me to come by too!

I can relate to lot of things you say. I also like rules and don't mind authority. Authority is everywhere, even in your own home. I can't do whatever I want in my apartment like have loud parties at night or trash the place because the landlord is entitled to kick me out if I am disruptive to the other neighbors and wrecking the place. Even if I had my own home, I would still have authority over me because there are things I cannot do at night like cutting the grass, anything that is loud because it will disrupt the neighbors and then the police could get involved.
But if I got told something dumb like I can no longer use my Wii Fit because the neighbor below me doesn't like hearing my foot steps, I might have a problem with that. I won't use it at night, that will be a closet compromise I would do. But yet the landlord can still evict me unfairly if she wanted to because I wouldn't follow a stupid order so I might still abide her stupid authority since we can't move right now and don't want the stress of having to move.


I hate being the leader too, that's why I will never be header of groups because I don't like to be the authority. Because I am scared of being the bad guy and people thinking wrong of me and misreading my intentions. I am afraid to make mistakes and then be the bad guy for it. I am also too passive because I hate upsetting people. I am not good with confrontations.



While I am able to work, I struggle getting a job because for some reason lot of people won't hire me. But yet back in 2007, when I applied at places, some places called me for an interview. Even after I had gotten one and I would just tell them I got a job and they be polite and tell me good luck and good I found one. Maybe if I tried that hard again, more places would call me for an interview.

hey me neither. im really bad at being anything but super uninteresting

there's a bunch of us on a thread here in the haven who feel like you do, come check it!

Like a lot of the people posting here, I find comfort in rules. Hey, I'm kind of like you too - I'm not smart like an aspie, I don't know a lot of stuff. But anyway, hang around. I can't promise that we'll all get along fabulously, but there is some good company to be found in The Haven, or in GD or in any of the other forums

^^evil eyes knows

I fee like a misfit here because I'm a Right Wing Christian and a Kinks Fan, but I still come to post and support my fellow members.