Sleep, lack of

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So. For quite a long time now I've had trouble sleeping at night due to:

1. Worrying about various things.

2. My father being in the room next to mine in the early hours of the morning talking "to himself" about what a burden children are.

3. My mind refusing to shut off.

At the suggestion of someone on another site, I tried foam earplugs to shut out the sound of my father, and they worked brilliantly... for 2 nights.
It's as though my brain has a wakefulness set point., and it keeps resetting lower and lower as I find ways to shut out stimulation and relax myself.
I can't sleep unless I'm exhausted. Sometimes it feels like I've forgotten how to sleep.

The sleeplessness/stress is giving me

- what feels like mild seizure activity

- muscle spasms

- a really horrible feeling of electricity/cold burn in my head that sometimes spreads out to the rest of my body

- showers of phosphenes

- a recently developed intermittent whole-body/limb jerk, which only happens when I'm trying to sleep

as well as the usual bad mood, brain fog and so forth.

It makes things more and more difficult, but unless I can't walk to the bus stop to get to uni/work, I don't feel like I have any excuse for not keeping up my usual standards of performance. The effort involved in doing so just gets harder and harder.

If I could move out and away from my father, I'd probably be able to relax a lot more; some of what he says "to himself" sounds really disturbing, I don't feel safe being in the same house as him, and I think it's put my brain into hypervigilance mode, but I can't think straight to figure out how to get away.

This probably sounds really trivial "Oh no, I'm tired, the world is ending!", but it's been going on for a long time and it's affecting me really badly.

have you tried white noise? It can be effective in help your brain shut down.....

I usually have a fan on, or you can buy something to generate some noise.

I used to keep the radio on just loud enough to hear and too quiet to make out a song or talk and that was v. effective in stopping my thinking and covering up some outside sounds.

I suffer from the same thing, it freaks my roommate out

My only advice is don't eat before bed, take the advice of hyperbole, or (if you are so inclined) exercise a bit before going to bed. Even a few pushups might wear you out enough that you'll want to sleep.

Is it a constant problem? A supplement like melatonin is good for occasional insomnia, and it could help for more consistent sleep problems too. I'd also like to echo the white noise idea. There's nothing more pacifying than a fan's hum.

I didn't want to recommend sleep aids, but melatonin might be good.

Oh, that sounds unpleasant, Who_Am_I, not trivial at all. I used to put stuff in front of the door, made me feel a bit securer, and if anyone should come in, it makes a huge racket. Maybe wedge it with a chair. Is your dad like that all night? Sounds a bit strange. Is it you or your brother he's bothered about?

Apart from that, white noise can help. I've got some hypnosis and guided meditation audio files that really help me relax if that would help. Let me know, and I'll send you a PM.

yeah i recommend the white noise, or a cd with relaxing music. something to block out the noise. I have known sleep deprivation and i know for a fact it is not a small deal.

Re: white noise: I have a fan on and the noise does help; does anyone know of any other inexpensive sources of white noise? Maybe tuning a radio to static at low volume would have the desired effect?

Thanks for the advice.



I've been a bad sleeper all my life; it took me until I was 18 to sleep through the night, but it's only been this bad over the past year or so.



I don't really have a proper door; just a curtain hung across the opening to my room.




Not all night, just early in the morning beginning anytime between 4am-5:30am and ending between 7-7:30am. The computer is in the room next to my room, so that gives him an excuse for being there.



He'd say that it was both, but really he's just dissatisfied with life and blaming everyone but himself for how it's turned out.



Yes, that would help very much.
Actually, it was seeing all your mentions of meditation and so forth around the forums that gave me a tool that worked quite well for shutting out my father: instead of trying not to focus on his complaining, I found something else to focus on instead.

No not trivial at all. I've had this for many years, with a succession of house/flat noise or threat from various sources.
You describe it well - hypervigilance is exactly what is the end product and it doesn't go away without intervention. You need to reduce it by any means possible (not trivial either I know) but vital because your brain resets itself to this tension as the new normal state, as recurrent anxiety about concrete problems morphs into persistent anxiety about seemingly anything (or nothing). This is the chemical adaptation the brain undergoes & is a cause of anxiety disorder.

Don't fret about this too though ! It's only to help you understand why it is that you are finding it harder to sleep and easier to worry, and why this is a perfectly normal response.



You shouldn't expect to function to the same level as usual because sleep deprivation, anxiety/fear, constant vigilance all take a toll on your body & brain. Exhaustion can set in & it's not a pretty state to be in, take it from me because i've been there.

I had years of persistant problems plus hell at work and with neighbours, although work got sorted and saved ungracious exit from my career it has taken years of recovery but the neighbour noise problem hasn't been resolved.

You're absolutely right saying you have to be in a good state to even think straight about solving the problem (such as moving out).

I'd say small steps make a big difference - such as having the background noise you are in control of (radio tuned to static seems a good idea). I use comfy headphones with or without earplugs & play music/radio during the 'danger periods' where I expect the noise to happen (even if it ends up being all night, the earplugs or low volume helps distance the music a bit).

Taking control of the problem has helped to settle my mind a bit more about it - even if it inconvenienced me, such as not going to bed until after the neighbours & staying in the furthest room away with music on until it was 'safe'. That still means I often wake up at their middle of night noise, and then can't get back to sleep due to waiting for the next bit, but I do have to accept the fact that it has made this light sleeper into a very bad sleeper and my life, work and health still suffers.

The best solution for many will be to move, but this is not a simple task for the fog-brained & exhausted, but even thinking about it makes me feel more positive for being able to see a way out. I hope that you find some small (and eventually large) steps to take to make yourself feel better.

Last edited by Nier on 28 Mar 2011, 5:52 am, edited 1 time in total.

It's good to know that it's a normal response.



You shouldn't expect to function to the same level as usual because sleep deprivation, anxiety/fear, constant vigilance all take a toll on your body & brain. Exhaustion can set in & it's not a pretty state to be in, take it from me because i've been there. [/quote]

But if I don't function at the same level my grades at uni will drop so I'll have no chance of getting into the research courses and eventually becoming a lecturer, and if my standards at work drop then I'll lose all my students and
a. Have no money to get to uni.
b. Have even more trouble from my father.



All my mental energy is taken with study and work; I don't want those to suffer.



My noise-cancelling headphones have plastic bits on them that dig into my ears, but I was thinking of getting some soft material, cotton wool and elastic and sewing myself a comfortable pair of earmuffs that would fit snugly over my whole ears.



Just the fact of having some control over it does seem to relax me a lot, which in turn helps me to sleep better.
I've noticed that it's only human voices that wake me up: my brain is hyperattuned to them. Cars, crickets and other things tend to lull me to sleep.



The big problem I have with moving is that I can't afford to. I'm having trouble finding a job because of
a. Employers expecting 3 years experience for entry-level positions.
b. Employers wanting 24/7 availability for 10-15 hours of work/week.

I know I could do the entry level jobs, and it's frustrating not being given a chance to prove that I can. I've been to places that help to find work, but they've just turned me away with "you aren't on an unemployment benefit so we can't help you".

Of course, it's bad this is happening at a crucial point in your studies. I just meant go easy on yourself & don't waste energy worrying about the problem on top of having the problem. You are already focussing on what you can do to solve it so that's the best use of your limited energy.



I find 'in ear' headphones too uncomfortable, even foam plugs hurt my ears for long term use, but I cut them down to smaller size. I also bought some ear defenders - as used by the road drillers! - but they are so bulky that I can't sleep on my side, so some soft ear muffs sound a better plan. Layers are good & you can try with / without in-ear plugs depending on how you feel & volume of noise.
Generally it's easier to filter the high frequencies out, so it's the bass in voices etc that tend to leak through. I find earplugs plus a second layer better for this.



Sounds like you've a lot to cope with. It sucks that employers put that catch 22 onto people - so only those rich enough to support taking on an unpaid internship avoid the problem of how to get initial experience. Also you must have strength you don't give yourself credit for, to pursue and stick with a subject you like despite the obvious barriers that could put the less stubborn off !

There are no easy solutions, but take every little step you can. Even if something doesn't work, just trying means you're not 'stuck' in the problem. I hope you find a better situation soon.

Chamomile tea, works great! It's doesn’t help me anymore because I drink it like water to help with my stomach issues, but normally it works to calm you down and put you gently to sleep. One of my co-workers decided to try some of my stash during the middle of our work day and she fell asleep at her desk. I also find sleeping with one of my cats in the bed helps me, but I think it is more of the purring that acts as a white noise.

I like chamomile tea.

I've had a good few days with sleep; Monday was terrible but there were reasons for that.

I haven't yet checked out the meditation files that Moog sent me; I was planning to put them on my mp3 player but I need to free up some space first. I'll do that within the next few days.