29 Mar 2011, 1:41 am
Sometimes I feel that whatever I do, people don't like me, and its just not worth the effort trying anymore. If I make a huge effort to be nice and agreeable, they walk all over me; if I try to be assertive, I have people getting " offended" and gossiping and bitching behind my back. If I "just be myself" people think I'm weird.
It takes so much effort to be around people in the first place, without trying to fit in and make a "good impression". I have a part-time job, but it's very cliquey, and I am constantly being compared to the last person who did it, who went on maternity leave 11 months ago. ( She didn't like certain people and aspects of the job, but apparently she kept quiet about it to most people) She has since resigned, which means I have to reapply for the job. I find job interviews supremely stressful, and wouldn't be surprised if they picked someone else, as I have been far too assertive for some people's liking.
In the past I've just sucked it up, and done my best to do what was expected and "Look normal"; but after totally burning out at my last job I ask "what's the point?" Do I really need a job so much I'd sacrifice my health and sanity again? 
29 Mar 2011, 2:40 am
while i cant offer any advice..... i can say that i relate to every word there.
29 Mar 2011, 4:58 am
I can relate to your situation as well. Two years ago I was temporary promoted to a position where I had to deal with a lot of people and was responsible for a certain section and some employees that worked there. I tried my best but I always felt hated or dismissed by everyone. If I was trying to be nice they said I wasn't doing my job well and if I was trying to do my job well everyone just hated me. I had some personal issues at that time as well. So in that year I completely burnt out. I felt exhausted mentally and physically. So when I was asked if I wanted to stay in the position permanently I declined. Now I'm doing a job where I don't need to talk to that many people and I'm only responsible for my own work. I still don't feel liked and it's still tiring to be polite and pretend to be "normal" but the pressure isn't unbearable anymore. With time my colleagues got used to my "weirdness". Now they value my experience and my creative approach to many problems. They also give me more space to breath now.
So my advice would be to figure out if the job you have is good for you and if you can handle it. And when it comes to co-workers then maybe you should just try to survive it all for a while and concentrate on getting good at what you do. Once people start appreciating your skills they'll be more willing to accept you for who you are. Well at least it worked for me. 
