I talk myself out of everything.

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I say I am going to do this or that.
Like join the navy.
Get a loan for school.
Do better in school.
Get a decent job.

But in the end I always talk myself out of all of these things.
Many times I say I am not mentally capable after I have a melt down.
That lingers for awhile after and it's hard to build back up encouragement to do anything out of the norm.

How do you defeat a negative tide inside your mind?

Someone once said to me one here that aspergers or autistic people shouldn't tell anyone what they are going to do or plan to do. But rather just have the goal in mind and just do it with it in mind but dont tell people. I told my parents I was going to join the navy, started training but then I started training for swimming (jump off 10 foot thing swim the length of pool and tread water for 5 minutes) but every time I swim I have a panic attack halfway through. This last time was real bad and my chest was hurting for several days, is still hurting. I also had like a back spasm or something, I think I may be swimming wrong but I dont think I can learn it different. I've always been afraid of the water and being under water up to my chest makes me clastrophobic, then I came home and my dad said "Didn't drown?" which made me think he wanted me to drown or that I wasn't able to swim. So I gave up on joining the navy though it's still a background thought. I had scheduled an appointment with the recruiter which I did not show up to and I did not answer my phone when he called.

I have many reasons for joining the navy but my social skills, fear of water (only being in it not around it), and the fact that I am not good at talking to someone when people are around or talking to multiple people (guess that's social also) are keeping me from joining.

I did terrible last quarter in school, I didn't want to go back and fail classes again next quarter so I procrastinated until it was too late for me to register. When I did try to register I wasn't able to get classes anymore.

I am applying to places online but am not hopeful though I will continue- I have little work experience and there are big gaps where I have not worked at all like now.

Anyways...waiting for my tax return to hopefully buy some supliments to help me get my sleep/anxiety under control so I can get back in shape again.

the only way i was ever able to do anything in life, was when circumstances forced my hand. i am not homeless now because of savings and inheritance. but should those be wiped-out in some manufactured financial disaster again brought about by sociopathic wallstreeters, i will likely be homeless again.
instead of the navy, i'd recommend to the OP that he consider the air force instead. the accomodations are way better [no cramped bunks on a tin can].