HELP! What am I feeling?

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I've liked this girl for a while and she happens to be a good friend of mine. I've known her for over a year. Before it was just a minor infatuation, but these emotions now seem intense. I've actually fantasized about kissing her (this happens a lot!) and I often want to talk to her, but when I encounter her in person, I struggle to initiate a conversation. One time, we were following another friend to the bathroom (at our school). The bathroom door led to one empty room with NOTHING in it except another door that led to the actual bathroom. The friend went to that empty room, my friend and I following her. She left, leaving this girl I've been talking about and I in that room.

I don't know why I did this, but when she started for the door leading to the hallway, I stood in front of it and said "I'm not letting you leave." She said she had to finish homework and the bell was close to ringing. I stood there, thinking "WHY did I HAVE to do that?" Now, I'm trying to decipher my own intentions (I have a STRONG feeling that I made her EXTREMELY uncomfortable!! !)

For some reason, and I think this is wrong of me, but I find myself staring at her body. At one point, I couldn't stop! I'm not usually like this, nor am I able to comprehend what I'm doing. I feel like I'm doing something wrong by doing so and I feel like I'm violating her somehow. I don't know why! Any thoughts?

Now, onto the next issue: the friend we were following. I trust her and all, but my mom has the feeling that she is two-faced and is trying to manipulate me. I'm call her R.

So R dislikes these two girls, J and Y. I dislike them as well, but for separate reasons. My mom feels that R is reinforcing my dislike for J and Y and that R is two-faced because R rants about them to me and the girl I like but acts like she's J and Y's friend when she's around them. R knows I have HFA (my mom wanted me to tell NO ONE) and about my feelings for the girl I like. Now I'm struggling with two choices: either to disregard what my mom is saying and trust R or to stop trusting R and everyone else and shut everyone out so I'm not vulnerable.

No responses? Err.....

It sounds like your a lesbian to me. It's perfectly natural and it's existed ever since man (or woman) kind has. This girl whom you are persuing might not be gay herself though so it's awkward. She might not even realise what her own sexuality is as you are both quite young.

I tried coming up with a response for this but I am in absolutely no way qualified to come up with a decent response for you. It sounds like you're coming into your own sexually but that whole time in life is a minefield. Listen to your mom is probably the best thing you can do but ask her about what you're going to do about R before you do anything....cutting off R completely would probably be even worse than being associated with her at this point. Does your mom know yet that you have these feelings about girls?


Ugh, don't listen to me. I doubt I'm giving good advice here. After all, I'm a guy.

Wait, just so you know, R and the other girl I like are NOT the same people. I'm just hoping there isn't a mix-up. Anyway, my mom doesn't know I like girls yet.

I understood that. You told R about the other girl you like and that you're HFA.

Hmmm......

yeah, this whole thing has me REALLY confused!

i also struggled to understand what was going on at your age. i was attracted to some of my friends and i thought maybe i was a lesbian. my friends were patient with me even though i tended to flirt like you were doing. sometimes flirting can come across in a way we don't expect, even though we're just kidding around. sounds like you have a supportive friend, and maybe someday you may have a girlfriend too. maybe don't pressure her too much - she might get scared off if you push or try too hard

Wait, I was flirting? I am SO confused!

I wouldn't push your "interest" on this girl. Hear me on this I am not attacking you, but girls liking other girls isn't "natural" but it is getting more normal now-a-days tho. That being said, if you're already friends with her, working on being even friends so its easier for you to talk to her about things and maybe see if she is infact interested. When you tried to stop her from leaving she probably didn't think that you were trying to flirt with her or that you had feelings for her, she probably thought you were just joking and messing around.

If you had a friendship with this girl, build it, be nice, be normal and then tell her how you feel. Also since you're in school, be sure to keep in touch because the school year is almost over (14 normally means highschool coming up) so get her number to keep in touch.

well i didn't see any video footage lol, but ummm it sounds that way to me. joking around and teasing with someone you LIKE is what a lot of flirting is about. no harm in that, as long as you don't get too intense or pushy so that she gets freaked out. and i happen to think it's natural to find someone of the same gender attractive so don't feel bad ok?

She knows I like her (how awkward!). Did I mention once the school year's over, she's moving back across the country? Double awkward!

To hyperlexian: I think it's a little more than attraction, but I'm scared to find out!

oh, that's cool!

Heh?!?!?!

Ouch, sounds like a tough situation. Could still stay pen pals?

Last edited by Greatsharkbite on 21 Apr 2011, 6:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.

That time is confusing in everyone's lives; for different reasons for different people but everyone is confused (whether they'll admit it or not).