I wish I was someone else.

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Every time I try to make things better, everything falls apart. When something good happens to me, I screw it up. I can't keep a job or get a driver's license or do well in school. I am failing in school because I can't focus, and I'm about to get fired from my job, because I can't focus on my work. I can't do anything right. I am in pain right now, and I need to take it out somewhere. I don't have anywhere to talk about it, except here. I have nowhere to turn. I had every chance, and I blew it. I have no one to blame for my problems but myself. I am the problem. It's not because I have a disability; it's because I'm a screw up. I don't want to be me anymore. I want to be someone else, one of those other people, who have worth and have something to live for. I can't be anything. I'm sick of this life, and there is no way out. It's all just one big cycle. Words can not express how I feel right now. I just want to die.

Nobody's listening. I should have known. I cry out for help, and everyone just ignores me.

You are very young, I am not sure what advice to give. but i am sure things will get better...

I'm sorry to hear of your struggles.

It sounds like you are trying to do a lot all at once. I advise that you find something to cut back on, so you can focus on the other stuff.

There's a lot of things you can't seem to succeed at there, look for something you can. Try not to worry too much. You probably don't even know the real consequences of failing at those things yet, only phantom fears planted there by peers, parents and society in general.

Try to find some outlets for your stress. Exercise is good. Take a walk, run or bike ride. If you are at school, perhaps there's a counsellor or someone who can help you. If you are lucky you may get a good one. Seeing a doctor may be an option. And if it helps, keep venting, even if no one listens, it can be helpful just to get something out of your head and into the air, or on a screen or paper.

May your troubles pass quickly.

Look i can understand what you're going through. i don't have a driver's license or a permit. i could have a driver's license by now but i procrastinated. if i don't get one soon then my future plans will be messed up. the only job i've ever had was at a coffee shop for 6 months and i was laid off. i haven't had a job since then because i've been so bogged down with school work

it's hard. i understand. some days i half know if i'm going to make it through the day.
try exercise, painting, writing, photography. something for an outlet. have you considered talking to psychiatrist?

there are lots of folk [i'd bet BILLIONS] who wish truly and deeply they were somebody else. including moi. you aren't alone and there are indeed people listening to you who want to help. please let them. keep talking, don't stop now.

You know, OP, I feel you on this one. When I was younger, one of my uncles dubbed me, 'dossabrokeit'. Well, not 'dossa' exactly, my real name, but you get the idea... I think by the time I was thirteen, I had come to the conclusion that the only thing I could successfully do is ruin good things. The kicker to it is, I usually think things are fine only to be suddenly slapped with the reality that no, things are not good, and further, I am the one messing everything up. Every time I get hit with that reality I stand there like I was shot and did not fall down and wonder why it is I even bother trying. But still, I keep trying...

I have been thinking lately about how doctors 'practice' medicine. I think people 'practice' living. I wonder how old I will be when I finally get it figured out, but I also think I will never have it figured out. I am ok with that though. I do not know how it goes for you, but my reality shots never break me. I always think they will, but they never do permanent damage (I am here typing after all), and with time I mend and can pick up the pieces of my mess and inspect them and put it all back together again minus a few pieces that were too messed up to use again. I do not know if that makes sense... what I mean to say is that each time that happens I can learn from it... figure out what I did wrong, where I went wrong, and hopefully be better off for it. It took me awhile to get there though... for years I was just stuck in this blind cycle of destruction... not so fun.

I apologize as I can be a terrible listener... I always want to offer up potential solutions, so if this is unwanted, I am sorry... but perhaps you are taking on too much right now. I have never done well when I am trying to do too much at once. I cannot imagine working and going to school right now. I have two classes at the moment and to add a job into the mix... bloody hell... I would crash and burn. I do not know how you do that. I could not. I would need to quit the job in order to be able to get up and go to school.

Things will get better. They always do. I know it is of little comfort when you are stuck in the middle of it, but it is truth. I hope things work out for you quickly. I wish you well in this.

If I had found this thread when you first created it, I would have posted straight away, because I know exactly how you feel. Your life is similar to mine there. Whatever friendships I make, something happens where I can't be close to them, and it's nothing to do with my social skills or anything - it's just fate. For example (this has never happened....yet), if I found a really good friend who was going to be friends with me for life, he or she would probably get hit by a bus and killed or something. And each time I get a crush on someone, they are either married, or I never get chatting to them, or something happens where they disappear out of my life, never to be seen again by my eyes. I fancy 3 bus-drivers what all drive the bus I get at different times, and in the last 4 months, they have all been moved to a different bus what I never get, or they have left. And yet the ones I don't fancy stay on my bus forever. It's always the way.
Yet I see other people get a crush on someone, and they're going out with them the next week.

All this sort of thing panics me, because if I keep on losing friends now, will this keep happening throughout my whole life? Will I ever settle down and get married? Will I ever have kids? If I do, they will probably all be born Autistic or something, which I don't want. But if I don't meet anyone and have children, who will look after me when I get old and get Alzheimer's? I will be left to die alone. The f*****g s**theads (the government of this country) are cutting the national health services, and are closing down care homes, and are giving all our money to foreigners and leaving us British people to rot IN OUR OWN COUNTRY!
OK, I know NTs have this to worry about, but due to my very severe anxiety disorder, I tend to worry about it most of the time. I hate being on job-seekers, the job-centre people are nasty to me, I can't seem to get a job anywhere because nobody wants to employ a useless lowlife like me who can't say boo to a goose and has under-average IQ, and has zero confidence for anything. And I get stared at by people like I've got 2 heads, and I worry and worry and worry about my house in case it goes on fire or something, and my family and my possessions are all I have to keep me happy, and burnt down houses freak me out so badly that I'd rather see an ugly deformed scream face inside a monk in a creepy field, then see a burnt house. I hate fires, why do they have to exist?! !!

im not sure what advice i can give, because i could have pretty much written that myself.

im not sure what advice i can give, because i could have pretty much written that myself.

I make that wish everyday. If I ever work how to make it come true I'll let you know. Until then, you just have to keep on going. Focus on getting enough sleep and eating healthy foods. Decide your priorities - school or work - and stick with them. Talk to people, even if it's just here on WP, so that you're not isolated. Good luck.