Not sure if its good or bad.

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Ok so I have been feeling a bit better mentally lately, like not too depressed or anxious and have not had quite as much trouble getting to sleep. But sometimes when this happens it ends up being the begining of worsening periods of depression and as someone whos attempted suicide in the past it is a bit of a concern. I feel rather numb about everything like some things suck and some things don't but I can't seem to feel much about anything...its not unpleasent but I am not sure that its a good thing. I also feel like it might be possible to overcome some issues I have surrounding lack of assertiveness....like worrying about other peoples problems on top of my own, not being able to say no to anything easily and just being kind of easy to manipulate I mean its happened at least three times that someones taken advantage of this flaw and manipulated me.

I guess I am just concerned this could be a false period of feeling a bit better before a worsening state of depression, or that I might take things too far once I learn to be a bit more assertive about things and end up just coming off even more rude then I already do or something...but I am sick of always ending up in a position to be taken advantage of because I can't stand my ground well enough.

I have this type of experience, over again. I go through a period of depression and than I'm better and eating again, and than another depressive spell creeps up and grabs me from behind.

I have moods where I feel like I can do anything but then it again it always goes back to being depressive. My IBS does not help my mood at all. I'm sensitive to other peoples moods and right now I'm living with one bitter, angry woman which isn't good She isn't the best person to be around but it's pretty much the only home I've got. I think you've got to surround yourself with postive people, when I'm in a good mood I come up with all these good ideas for my art. It's just I'm used to people not giving me a chance but when given the chance I flourish