problems with words--can anyone relate?

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I hate words. This is actually not what I want to say, because I don't "hate" words "per se"/"all around"....I just can't seem to use or understand words like normal people.

I misunderstand what people say, and they misunderstand what I say.

I'm currently thinking about this because of how it affects planning things that involve other people (I recently found out that a plan made with someone else didn't actually exist because I misunderstood their words).....

I make plans that involve other people, and vice versa, and it turns out that we aren't making the same plans--or that only one of us thinks we're making plans. (It could be that I'm thinking someone is making a plan with me when they aren't, or it could be that someone else is mistaking my words as an agreement to do something that I'm not intending to agree to). By the time the misunderstanding surfaces, either my plans or the other person's plans (or both) are completely screwed up.

I don't actually know how often this happens, just that the frequency of the occurence is miles away from "rarely" and not "always." If I use the phrase "half the time," I know it will indicates something in between "rarely" and "always"....but "half the time" literally means 50% of the time and I don't know if someone hearing/reading the words "half the time" is going to think I actually mean 50% of the time, when in fact the actual frequency with which this occurs might be closer to 75% or 90% of the time. (I honestly don't even know what, if any, difference it makes to the person who reads or hears me say "half the time"--all I know is that the frequency with which this occurs affects how frustrating it is and, since I'm trying to explain my frustration, it seems likely that it does make a difference). So.....

"Half the time," I can't even explain to the other person where the misunderstanding came from because I don't know where it came from--nor can I figure out what questions to ask to obtain this knowledge. If I can't figure out what went wrong, I can't address the misunderstanding.

Sometimes these misunderstandings lead people to think I can't be counted on--and while in purely practical terms this ends up being rather accurate, the phrase "to count on someone" refers to that person's intentions more than anything else....doesn't it? The problem with me isn't that I just blow people off or neglect the things I've taken responsibility for, the problem is that there is a lack of mutual understanding of the words being used when plans are made. This is very upsetting, because in reality I don't want to let people down (do everything possible not to) and I don't knowingly agree to do things unless I'm actually going to do them.

It's also very upsetting to me that I can't count on my own understanding of other people's words when I'm asking them if they can do something. My attempts to clarify what's being said don't even work--I ask a question and people just repeat exactly the same words I don't understand. If I keep trying to ask for specific information, people tell me that they're giving me that information, when in fact they're giving me words that I can't match to actual/tangible/visible objects or processes (i.e. words that don't mean anything)---or words that I can match to actual/tangible/visible objects or processes but can't put together (can't fit into something like an equation ....e.g. "if x then y; if y then w,z, or v"). I've tried explaining these things to people and it doesn't work--they don't get it. (I think this might be because I can use words that don't mean anything on their own, because I attach them to meanings--however approximate those meanings may be--and then place them into whatever grammatically correct, coherent-sounding arrangement-of-words I can make them fit into.....what my words mean to another person is sometimes miles away from the meaning I intended, but because I can just keep putting together words that sound right, I imagine nobody notices that I'm not saying what I mean or--as the case may be--just saying whatever sounds appropriate.)

To make matters worse, people tend to get upset by my attempts to clarify, and I can never figure out (without being told) whether they're just upset, or whether they're upset with/by me. I can safely assume that, if they're upset, it's at least partially because they don't understand what I'm saying/asking and that makes them confused and frustrated, but I've learned that sometimes it goes beyond that: sometimes they're actually mad at me, or they think I'm mad at them. I have no idea what I'm doing that would make them angry with me.... Nor do I understand why they would think I'm mad at them--I don't think I say anything mean or personally offensive, so I can only guess that they think I'm mad at them because I'm frustrated....but if that's the case then why can't they see that the same situation that frustrates them also frustrates me?....that my frustration isn't personal?....that if my frustration has to be explained as "directed at someone", then that person would be me?

Does any of this make sense to anybody else here? Can anyone relate?

It's happened to me at times. It's strange; Someone will say a sentence to me, I'll understand every word they said to me, but put together it sounds like gibberish and I can't process what they mean. Usually it's just a matter of context, like if they give me instructions for how to do something, once I'm faced with the thing, what they said will come back to me and I'll be OK. But I'm uncomfortable with asking too many questions for fear of annoying the person. It's not that they're angry so much as frustrated because they're explaining to you in what they perceive to be the simplest way possible about something, and can't grasp why you didn't grasp it.

What I'd suggest is to carry a little notepad and if it happens again, write it down, If they ask why you're writing it, just say "I have a bad short term memory." Once you see a thing in words on paper, it usually becomes a LOT clearer what it means.

thank you, sacrip i will try the notepad idea