I think I just had what is technically classed as a meltdown

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followed by a shutdown. The matter was trivial, much more so than some of the issues I've seen discussed in the Haven. But I have no one to talk to at 7am so here I am :oops:

luckily the door was the only victim, one of my dinner plates was in the firing line but it was spared

I hope you are doing ok. I did something of a similar nature a few weeks ago, luckily noone noticed...

I'm alright now, thanks. the broken 'device' on the door was kind of in-context to the situation, so I probably got away with it

I'm embarrassed to say I've had many a similar projectile-launching fit. Dinner plates mostly with me too! Chairs, books, drinking glasses, my cell phone, even a TV once. (The TV was merely knocked off its stand. The rest hit the wall.)

I didn't realize this classified as a meltdown but know that I do I feel a bit better. But still guilty and embarrassed.

Anyway, you're not alone!

EDIT: wait, I misread. Apparently the dinner plate was not a projectile in your case. Anyway, I empathize!

okay, so here's a story i don't tell too often because i am so ashamed of it. normally i am pretty even-tempered, i don't even yell or anything - not even to my daughter or my students in 5 years of teaching, though my husband has heard some choice cursewords. anyways...

about 3 years ago i had just found out that i didn't get my one-year contract extended at a job i had put my heart and soul into. i wasn't suited to working there at all (teaching in a very conservative community), but it was such a dream job that i wanted to keep going and get an offer of a permanent position. i was working 60 or more hours a week, trying so hard to impress them.

when i found out i didn't get the contract, i was completely devastated and very angry. after i left the meeting i climbed into the passenger side of our minivan and had a total meltdown. i smashed the dashboard with my fist very hard a few times. there was one of those hard plastic handle thingies that you use to climb up into the vehicle, which i completely snapped off and broke. i don't know what it's called but you can see the handle on the right side of the image here:



my arm and hand were badly bruised, but probably i didn't hit it as hard as i thought because the airbag didn't deploy.

basically, i'm trying to say that we ALL have meltdowns sometimes. i think we can't completely avoid it, but it's just a matter of trying to manage it as best as we can. maybe the trigger or situation didn't seem too bad, but maybe you just had a lot of stress going on in other areas as well and it all came to a head.

Yes, this makes sense. I had two family members in hospital in the space of a few weeks and they live at opposite ends of the country. I don't know whether this bothers me, I'm trying to ignore it, I feel guilty about the possibility that it might not bother me, or I'm angry that either of them are not looking after their health. Who knows. I like your diagram Hyper:)

i imagine your family health situations could definitely bother you, and though you are trying to ignore your feelings around their ill health, perhaps your frustration and worry comes out in unanticipated ways. can you tell them of your worries, or will they be offended?

p.s. i copied that diagram from a website, otherwise i would have included a line drawing of my fist of fury lol

Well the people in question are my dad and my grandmother (both from the same side of the family) and the problem is we're not that close. My dad has consistently lived about 200 miles from me since I was 2, my gran is finally local to me (after 28 years!) so there is a lot of missed-out bonding. When things like this happen I feel very awkward and don't know how to react.

To summarise it's probably not my place to lecture them about their health. The irony of this is the fact they have not been speaking to each for about ten years! So they are not aware that they both got rushed to hospital in the same 3-week period. My family are odd :roll:

I lost count of the meltdowns I had in the past when I was younger living with my mother.
I been though all types of them item based (worst one involved a kitchen knife),
projectile based (mostly with shoes for some weird reason, I got a deadly aim so I started using a foam brick),
physical scraps & a hell of lot verbal Jujitsu.

Over the years I learnt how to meditate to help balance my emotions & have used self hypnosis to control my rage.
Now when I do have a meltdown is just the verbal Jujitsu & a tactical retreat from the fire fight.

I hope you are feeling a bit better today, Bucephalus, and I can see why you were so upset, having two members in hospital like that would be very difficult, even if you are not close to them, it would still be very hard. ((((((hugs))))))

Thanks. tbh, I'd not given it a thought until Hyperl had pointed it out in her post, but I am very good at ignoring things that I shouldn't igore

that makes sense to me. it can be very hard to know how to react when people get ill in any situation. but when considered from the perspective that the people who fell ill are meant to be closer to you but are physically or emotionally distant... well, it can be a really hard situation for you.

my dad had a serious surgery a few years ago (50/50 chance of survival). i was living an 8 hour drive away from him, and i wanted to be there for him. he said no, that he didn't want to have people hovering all around him. he didn't even want to have a phone call the night before because he felt like it would have the gravity of a "Last Phone Call". it was very hard for me to cope with the fact that i couldn't even cross this emotional and physical chasm when he was clearly in need of support.

it may help to take the action that is best for *you* as opposed to the action that is best for *them*. it may not be your place to lecture them, but it may help you to be able to express some of your concern to them. it may even help them too, to know that you worry. but honestly i don't know if i would do that either. i am full of... advice... that i don't really know how to utilize lol.

hope you are doing better today, anyways.

Yeah I am thanks. I went to visit my grandmother today and had a nice chat, we talked about pretty much everything apart from actual reason that she was there! Also the hour I spent there felt like five minutes, I feel much better now. They still have to do tests to find what is wrong (something to do with the pancreas was what brought her in there) but my nan looks fine and in good spirit:)

That news made me .

glad to read she is doing okay and you are feeling better too.