Does anyone else feel like this?

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I'm not happy, never have been, and couldn't ever imagine being happy even under different circumstances.

I don't like most things in life...my special interests are primal (women, food) as well as 20th century music. I've got really into TV shows before...where it was like, I felt like I was in the show...but once you've seen every episode from beginning to end, it's over...and there are only so many TV shows that interest me.

I watch sports, but I don't love sports to the extent of other guys where they live, eat and breathe it.

There's pretty much no activity I'd enjoy outside, unless it involves going out to eat at a restaurant. Being outside for me, unless I'm in a beautiful, rural like area (which is rare around the part of the country I live) is pointless. I don't enjoy any outdoor activities or groups or anything.

Yet, being inside the house, you're stuck with yourself and your thoughts and while it's better than dealing with outside crap (NT sellouts, crowds, drama and the like) it can get taxing as an Aspie with obsessive thinking patterns and also depression.

I could fake having other interests, and have tried...but it didn't feel right.

I simply don't like life. Even if some genie came to me right now and I had the power to have whatever I wanted...I would just have a similar minded cynical girlfriend that was attractive to me and loved sex and we'd live in the country somewhere away from everything in some Zelda Ocarina Of Time looking place. There's no dream job I have, no interests, no ambitions, other than to count down the days until life is over.

Don't worry...this isn't a suicide thread...it would take something beyond belief (like finding out my family are all actors and I'm part of some Truman Show like existence) for me to ever take my life. But I do hate life, and don't see the point of it, and don't have anything I'd like to achieve other than sex with women, and even that I've pretty much given up on since I realize it's a fantasy and nothing else.

i don't like life either, ive been in a state of apathy for too long. i want out of this damn rut though.

I've been there.

I think you need to find a higher meaning for your life. TV and media can only mask a lack of meaning for as long as they entertain.

I went through a bunch of complicated worldview changes that turned my anehdonia upside down. I don't know how to put into simple words how one can make that transformation. But you must seek it. Do things differently. The life you are leading brings you nothing of value. Therefore you have nothing to lose in doing it in a completely different way, and if you find you do have something to lose, then that would be interesting too.

Read this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Dice_Man

I like to travel and would do more of it if I had the money. Seeing new areas, even just different parts of the US, is a thrilling experience for me. The airports/lugging stuff around etc. can get taxing, but it's worth it.

I like to read but I have ADD problems and until it gets to the point in the book where everything is unraveling, I have problems keeping focus.

It just seems I don't care about life. Even the getting laid thing...it would be nice, but if you told me it wasn't going to happen or wasn't going to happen for years, I would be like "eh ok."

I have ADD too, it's a problem.

Do you take medication? I've found meditation can help.

I just keep dragging my attention back to whatever it is I was actually trying to do... sigh

I'm on Prozac for depression...it was working well until the past few months. My therapist said it's common for Prozac to stop working...calls it "The Prozac Poop Out"...unfortunately everything else we've tried has made things worse. The OCD med he put me on just made me more obsessed with women to the point where I went to the ER over the stress for the night last week.

yep i sympathize with the op. im currently going through things where it seems to all be headed towards an inevitable collision and there is no way for me to get out of it. and my life has been mundane and isolated ever since my late teens and now im almost 30 and look where im at. i watch sports, but dont give a damn to discuss the stats and all the other BS about the athletes, i love movies and music, but tv holds no real attention for me these days. and the whole getting laid thing well thats one big f*****g mystery and frankly while i wouldnt mind it, if it doesnt i can be ok with that. thank goodness i dont have kids. if i did, my life would be even a bigger shitstorm than it is. i wouldnt mind traveling more either but my finances are completely f*****g shot so that is not a viable long term option.

and apparently i agree so much, wp had to double post me.

Fixed

The OP pretty much described my current state of being, but I'm in a different situation. I have felt happiness, and I have felt fully content with my life to the point I wouldn't change anything. These moments are rare and only taunt me.

But now? Now the only thing I can be grateful for is I'm not suicidal. I feel like time has stopped and I feel horribly numb. The only thing I can blame this on is Lexapro which I started a month ago. In a week I see my psychiatrist, and I'm telling her I want off it.

Sadly, some of this numbness is natural so getting off Lexapro won't make it immediately better. I want to say I can feel, that I can do things again, and that I have the ability to move on and change my life. Right now I don't; I'm an empty shell of a person.

All I can say is I relate. That's all. There's not much advice I can offer you since I haven't found a solution to this state of being.

I'm someone with nothing much to live for too. Hi.

I've been going through the same thing on and off since I was fifteen, and it has gotten particularly bad in the last two months. It seems that at some point every day, I break down and cry.

To make it worse, I've developed extremely bad insomnia lately. I lay in bed for hours, and when I finally fall asleep, I always wake up about three hours later unable to fall back asleep. I've entirely cut caffeine out of my diet and started going for long (4-5 hour) walks, but nothing seems to be helping.

I will not commit suicide because I know that it would devastate my mother, but I can't help but think about it all the time.

Last edited by js3521 on 23 May 2011, 12:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I guess that's the good thing...that I will never have a kid and put him or her through something similar.

You sound like you've got depression if nothing is fun. I know what thats like. What meds are you on?