feeling bad...

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I take quite a few meds for my OCD. I can't function without them. They help a lot, so I'm all for meds when they really help.

But there's something I'm confused about. Lately I've been having depressions that lasts for months and "highs" which last for about 2 days. I love the highs. I feel like I'm some sort of really conductive material and all the wonderful things in the world are flowing through me like electricity. But then after a few days of this I crash and go into what I call "insulator mode" where it feels like nothing in the world can touch me at all. Music has no effect, math stops being beautiful and interesting...I just feel totally cut off from the world.

So for one thing, I'm wondering if this indicates a problem with my meds. Maybe something needs to be adjusted?

But then I think, maybe it's perfectly normal to feel sad and cut off much of the time. Maybe people have always been unhappy, and drug companies are just fooling us into thinking we're supposed to be happy in order to sell us something.

Life seems almost unbearable during these lows. I just don't know whether that is normal, or whether I should try and get something done about it...and if something needs to be done...what?

I wouldn't know much about this but I have a question.

Do your lows come at the same time as things that you find hard or painful with your life?

If they come at the same time that hard or painful times happen, it could be that you need to talk about it with someone. If the lows happen regardless of what is happening with your life, it may mean that your meds need a little tweak.

Maybe you have cyclothymia like me.