She got married today

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A ex-girlfriend of mine got married today. She was one girl in 30 years of my life who actually tried to understand me but as an NT she found she couldn't do it. I really think I loved her but she decided to quit and met her husband at a bar b que that week. She told me later that she felt i was too distant and her new love was a more intersting and exotic guy. Not the first time that happened to me, but this time it hurt me deeply because she was the first i'd really let in.

The thing is the sadness just went away, I overloaded and now I'm numb and cant make myself feel anything or care about anything. I've grown tired of the pain that comes from dealing with NT's. I am weary of the disappointment that every single relationship I enter into eventually becomes. Today I think I the buildup reached its max limit and I just shut down.

I'm sorry you're hurting, Redeagle. The pain of rejection and seeing our beloved move on and commit to another in marriage is extremely painful...I've been there myself. Be gentle with yourself.

i know what you mean

no pain is permanent

If you haven't already dones so, the best thing you can do to rebuild is to stop seeing the person and/or keeping in touch with her. The feeling will start to fade with time.

My HS prom date is getting married too, to a guy she met after she dumped me. She's learning disabled but still NT, and she has a career (preschool teacher), a life, and now a husband. Meanwhile, I'm sitting at my parents' home doing nothing. I'm a fixer by nature, my grandfather was a mechanic and a TV repairman (back in the 50s when TVs were expensive and tube based), and I inherited that, only everything now is throwaway. Even computers are just tossed if they get a virus! I trained as a computer repairman, but there's no demand for it. I feel like my very nature is somehow obsolete.

yeah I dont talk to her but they both are moving onto my street so that my be more diffcult in the future.

I'm just sick of this kind of thing happening to me. I'm tired of the nt's world.

if she couldn't understand you perhaps it just wasn't right

I've heard this a lot from guys. Not just aspies but short guys. "They always want a guy who's bigger." etc etc etc.

Of course, all those guys are married now to women who love them. Now that she's married, you can move on.

My ex-husband never moved on from me. He lives in his parents' basement, working minimum wage jobs, never advancing in life, and just fixates on me. He's never dated, never had a girlfriend, never moved on. It's freaky. He's 40.

So, take the cue to move on now. You're an aspie, but you can still make healthy choices for yourself. This whole "nt world" thing is BS.

Red, you deserve better and you're better off without her. Imagine being married to someone who constantly complains that you are too distant and unexciting, and who might even cheat on you as a result.

You shouldn't take it to heart. I've had a girl leave me and find a guy 2 days later. With no vehicle, no money. But he was more outgoing and had friends.
Sometimes you just fail at life, I've come to accept it. Even if it does feel pretty bad.

She just found the guy that she feels right with, it's nothing against you. You'll find yours too.