Health anxiety - am I the only one around here?

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Hi. I'm creating this thread about health anxiety because I don't believe I've noticed the subject being mentioned anywhere else on the forums, and I'd like to receive some advice. Also, I'd be keen to meet anyone else who's dealing with this, perhaps for the sake of mutual support.

I'm diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. I don't have any diagnoses of Generalised Anxiety Disorder or OCD, which I think are supposed to be related to health anxiety, though the former has been suspected by both professionals and the people around me. I'm also not currently using any medication or receiving any other treatment, though I'm in the process of seeking it.

As the title and the above few paragraphs suggest, I've had a lot of difficulty with anxiety in my time, with health anxiety being particularly troubling. I believe this is related to my AS in some way, in that my deep-seated fear of disease, accidents, and other disastrous things comes from a need for predictability and certainty in life - a need that can't always be fulfilled, for obvious reasons.

Anxiety in various forms seems to have its roots in my childhood, but health anxiety has only developed as a problem in recent months. Along with the need for certainty mentioned above, I believe that a key cause in the emergence of this problem is the fact that I became involved in a very supportive relationship not too long ago, only to become desperately fearful that something beyond my control would separate me from my new boyfriend. At first, this fear of separation focussed mainly on the prospect of life-threatening or disabling accidents - some of this harks back to a childhood fear of paralysis - but, in time, I also began to obsess about the prospect of falling ill.

My anxieties about illness usually begin if I notice something like an ache or a rash, or if I hear about it on television, in books, or in other people's conversations. With the former cause, I tend to panic right away - every stiff neck is meningitis, and every cramp in the leg is DVT. With the latter cause, I'll then start to research the illness - the prognosis, the suggested courses of treatment, and the symptoms that can show in the earlier stages, in particular - and examine myself if appropriate. Sometimes, I don't find anything unusual, though I do have to check time and time again to be absolutely sure. Other times, I come across something that seems odd, and then go on to cry hysterically for hours, feeling that my life's falling apart.

I try hard to consider the symptoms carefully, but my attempts to reason my way out of anxiety don't always penetrate, and take a very long time to calm me if they do. For instance, I was kept up nearly all night a few months ago after using a larger tampon than usual and then finding a mild rash on my hand, as this obviously meant I had Toxic Shock Syndrome and that my life would soon be over ; I didn't calm down until a long time passed without me developing any other TSS symptoms. On another occasion, I'd been reading about Inflammatory Breast Cancer when I noticed a redness under my breasts that couldn't even be explained. I was kept up all night again, and my mother, a nurse, had to spend almost all of the following day telling me that the one 'symptom' I had wasn't even in the area where IBC would strike; I still didn't abandon the need to keep checking and checking myself until I'd used hydrocortisone cream for a few days and the redness cleared up.

Fortunately, I have quite a few nurses in the family, and my boyfriend's also more informed than the average layman when it comes to medicine. They try hard to reassure me when I get worked up, but even they get frustrated when I carry on for hours without absorbing anything they say. They all think that the solution lies in not reading about disease; I disagree with this, because I take some comfort in the fact that being aware of early symptoms will increase my chance of survival in many cases. I think that what I really need is to get some treatment for my anxiety, as it comes in many forms other than health anxiety and it's really ruining my life. As I said earlier, my family and I are trying hard to get some treatment, but it's taking a while.

A big problem is that I have immense difficulty with a lot of the recommended strategies for dealing with anxiety. Becoming absorbed in another activity has always been suggested to me, but my anxiety has a very obsessive quality to it, so I find it almost impossible to distract myself when I get going. I also have trouble with Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, which I've tried several times in my life, as I just can't seem to 'make the connection' between the rational side of me, which recognises the low probability of disaster ensuing, and the emotional side; I often get very stuck on the question of 'What if I'm that one in 1000, 10000, or 100000?' I can't even adopt other people's attitude of 'Life's short, and we can't control these things anyway, so why waste time worrying?' as I just end up thinking how much I'd regret the impact that anxiety's had on my life if I found out that I was going to die soon...

Anyway, now that you all know about the nature of my health anxiety and how it impacts on my life, I'd like to finish off. Has anyone else dealt with health anxiety? What's the best way of dealing with uncertainty and apprehension about disease and death? Does anybody else have the same problem with reasoning their way out of anxiety (or engaging with CBT strategies) in general? While I wait until I find the right medication and the right dosage, does anybody have any advice about how to make the best of life with untreated anxiety, given difficulties with distraction from the source of worry?

Thanks for reading.

Hypochondria??

I think everyone has this to a degree nowadays. countless magazines/leaflets/posters detailing to us various illnesses/diseases/conditions....coupled with google and the modern tendency to self diagnose....it's pretty easy for the most stable of people to convince themselves they have some awful disease. Even my Nan's at it. She reads too much Take-a-break and now that she's learnt to use the internet there's no stopping her when it comes to self diagnosis and prescription.

I'd try to avoid searching things if I were you, and simply go to the doctor when you have symptoms instead so your mind can be put to rest straight away

I get anxious about my health a lot, and im in a particularly bad way the last week or so.

I get a lot of vague symptoms sometimes, that can be quite alarming.

Family try and reassure me that its a combination a) being sensitive - having a heightened awareness of bodily sensations b) (being long term unemployed) having too much time to think about things c) unhealthy sleep patterns d) lifestyle- lack of routine

All these things are true, and definately making things worse. But i know theres something wrong and none else will make it go away, so ill deliberately ignore the serious debilitating illnesses and read about other things that might explain how i feel, but can be fixed ie. benign paroxymal positional verigo, benign fasciculation syndrome, adrenal fatigue, trigger point pain/numbness. You pick up a lot of 'common sense' health tips researching these things - the hard part for me is breaking through the inertia and building a new healthy & structured lifestyle.

Its easy to get caught in a vicious cycle though - anxiety triggers all sorts of physical symptoms. Not just the classic 'panic attack' hyperventilation etc but a chronic form of anxiety in which your not consciously aware of being anxious anymore as its become normal. That produces symptoms, then you pick up one them - which triggers more anxiety. Then i think is this pure anxiety or was there something wrong to start with? And the not knowing makes it hard to settle myself.

Sounds like me, I'm the biggest hypochondriac going. I notice a slight hint of something different in my body and I instantly think of the worse case scenario.
"Oh I'm a bit crampy... SERIOUS DIARRHEA I WILL HAVE IT FOR DAYS!" "Too much sweet food I'm a bit full... OH NO I WILL PROJECTILE VOMIT EVERYWHERE!! !! !" "*Sneezes*... I HAVE THE FLU!! !" "My legs are aching a bit... THE FLU!! !" "I'm very tired today... THE FLU!! !! !" "I feel a bit icky this morning... f*****g PREGNANT!! !"

I get so panicky about what my body's doing it's ridiculous.

I'm a total hypochondriac. Always afraid of getting every type of sickness or contamination in existence.