I can't stop thinking about this...

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I keep thinking about a girl who I used to be friends with and had a secret crush on. I got too attached to her and she pulled away from me. We haven't talked in 8 months and yet I dream about her all the time at night. I still miss her so much and it's killing me. I haven't been the same since she said she's moved on with her life. I've become more distant from my other friends because I don't want to get too attached to them and get hurt again. Maybe I just wasn't meant to have any relationships because I always end up screwing them up.

I hate to break it to you but you didn't actually have a relationship. That being said, you didn't really screw anything up. She just wasn't attracted to you, and did what you should have done months ago.

I think perhaps it might be beneficial to consider that, though this girl has many qualities you were attracted to, she just wasn't the one for you, and those qualities she had might not be unique to her. There may be another girl out there with those same qualities that attract you, who is also attracted to you. What a tragedy it would have been had this girl not distanced yourself from you and kept you from searching for your true soulmate.

Is this the same girl that you mentioned in post http://www.wrongplanet.net/modules.php? ... 03#3706903 ?

You're fixating on this one person. You have a control issue. She did not respond to you in a way that you could understand and she made choices that you do not agree with. So, you're fixating on her and her choices. You have to let it go and move on. Learn not to pester people because it does turn them off, creep them out, and change their minds about you. I still receive messages from this one guy who can't seem to let it go that we stopped being friends three years ago. His messages fluctuate from insulting and accusing to apologizing and complimenting. I don't respond to any of his messages. As of four months ago, I finally stopped reading them out of morbid curiosity. It's creepy, it's unacceptable and, in my situation, I'm very grateful this guy does not know where I live.

May I pm you?

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nintendogurl1990, the best thing you can do for yourself is to move on. If this is the same girl you mentioned in your other thread it's possible that your secret crush wasn't as secret as you thought.

If she was homosexual/bi-sexual, it could have been simply that she didn't feel the same way but because you didn't say it outright she couldn't do anything except try to distance herself from you (I have had this happen to me with a few guys).

If she was hetrosexual, people aren't generally taught how to let someone homosexual/bi-sexual know that they aren't interested and fear being labled homophobic if they'd do it the same way as they would someone of their own preference.

Anyways, regardless of why she acted as she has, it's healthier for you to move on with your life. If she wasn't friend enough to tell you what her issue was, she's not friend enough to moon over the loss of her. I think the best thing that you can do for yourself is to try to forget her and to try to be a good friend to people who are your friends.

Of course you can PM me, LostAlien.

Yeah. She is.