Extreme Thinking And taking words literally

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I am in a relationship, of sorts, for the first time in some years, and am finding it frustrating as I have a tendency to take everything said totally literal, and the person I am with, tends to say everything with the same expression, so even when they are teasing me, or not being serious, I get upset and go into long winded explanations and the like. An example of this would be the other evening, when I got a meal and tried these duck spring rolls, and didn't like them, but left the plate on the table anyway in case he did like them.

He started saying I am trying to bump him off, and that I left them there instead of telling him they didn't taste nice, so he would have to put up with their horrible taste, and of course, I started defending myself and got quite hurt that he seemed to think I would be so unpleasant. It is so frustrating that I take things so seriously, and cannot see when someone is just teasing and the like.

Also, I seem to have extreme thinking and difficulty understanding peoples' reasons,intentions etc, for slight changes in their behaviour.
As an example, for days now, I put out a couple of foldup chairs for us to sit next to each other and watch a movie, and we have been sat holding hands. Last night, he suggested it would be nice if I sat in one alone, and he remained sat by the table across the room. I got really upset, and started analysing, trying to work out why he suddenly didn't want to sit next to me, got into a negative frame of mind, and couldn't express it, as I was worried it would sound stupid. I took it to mean he no longer wanted to sit next to me ever again, and that I might as well get rid of the chairs, and better keep a distance. That is how my mind takes such changes in behaviour in others. I cannot seem to process and understand it. And then I become angry, frustrated and depressed and no longer know how to behave around the person as in my mind, they have changed.

Does anyone else experience this sort of all or nothing, black/white thinking, or know how best to deal with it?

I get like that when under a lot of stress, and I can only try to train myself to pause before reacting. I imagine that feeling of urgency and confusion, then relax and open my mind to finding things funny. Eventually, I got fast enough with that to respond rather than reacting most of the time.

Yes, I think it may come from me need for sameness and predictability.
I suppose, I find it hard to deal with the reality that people do not remain the same from day to day, in terms of their behaviour and states of mind. It throws me off and I panic. like the rules change from one day to the next with people.
I definitely do need to learn to pause before reacting.