Frustration...

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Okay...my dog has been howling and whining for no reason all day and so I've already had a headache for a while now. Hence why I have been exceptionally cranky today. I'm annoyed that I'm not driving as well as I should by now. I've had 2 official lessons with an instructor and 3 practice sessions with my mom. I was going the speed limit and some a**hole was riding my tail, he was going 60mph in a 40mph lane. If i had slowed down at any point, he would have ran into my mother's car and there would have been hell to pay forcing me to turn quickly into a development so he could pass me.

Okay, that was done. I get home and see the "Public Toplessness" topic in the Adult Issues Forum. I argued quite a bit in there and I'm still pissed off. Yes, I know I have a really skewed view about men but I don't know which parts are wrong as to fix it. I try to fix it, then I find evidence (see the "For teh lulz" thread in Love and Dating) that reinforces my skewed view so I figure that I might not be so wrong after all. I know everyone says that all men aren't the same but I struggle to believe that when the vast majority of the ones I interact with behave in a similar manner. Apparently only ugly women complain about the objectification of women. I guess that makes me one super-ugly b***h.

And I'm tired of people assuming that I don't enjoy sex because I don't get any. That's not true. I can easily get laid if I wanted to. However, I just don't see the point in that venture since I won't enjoy it anyway. Why can't people understand that some people just aren't sexually ept? There are more important things to life than sex. How can I enjoy being used as a breathing blow up doll? I can see how sex is good for guys but I still have yet to understand how girls benefit from it. We carry all the risk. We could get pregnant if something goes wrong. In my case, I could lose my home if my family finds out that I'm not a virgin. And don't get my started on diseases and infections.

Or when I ask for advice about my inability to enjoy sex that most of the answers are ridiculously obvious like, "try lube" or "get a vibrator." Gee, I never thought of that! Oh wait, yes I did and it doesn't work. If I'm asking for advice on something like that, can't people assume that I have tried the obvious s**t already and save time by mentioning the less obvious stuff? :/

Still unemployed. I only have the cash for one more driving lesson. I had $7.50 in change converted to cash at the bank and then mom needs it to help fill up her gas tank. Come on, I barely have any cash. She would have more if she wasn't constantly ordering stuff from QVC. *sigh*

I have three guys talking to me on OkCupid. One of them is clearly only interested in sex, since the conversation magically always drifts in that direction. The other two seem to either only wanting to be friends or I'm completely missing their advances. One of them asked if he could dream of me which creeped me out a little. I don't want to hold that against him though since I don't think that was his intention. I don't think any of these three is the one or even a guy worth meeting. There's another guy who messages me on Facebook who's a catholic and talks to me a lot. He works all the time so meeting him seems less than likely anyway.

My head is throbbing and I want to cry but it's just not happening. I think I cried myself completely dry or am starting to become so emotionally hard that I eventually won't feel anything anymore. D:

Disclaimer: Don't attack me here. This is the freaking Haven. If you want to be a b***h, take it somewhere else because I will report you immediately.

I can understand perfectly how your feeling like now, lifes been a b***h to me too on all sides.
I been feeling pissed off with things close to losting the plot and crying my guts out.
Also this week for stressed out about as I trying to plan to spend time with my partner to walk to her about are relationship face to face, she been avoiding talking to me for the last few days now & am starting to get worried. It don't help that am love with a married woman and she love with me

So for this once while lifes been a b***h, think you of my firend and your firendship with yourself rember I did say your'll your own best friend. Thats what me and my best friend are doing right now spending quality time relaxing & telling the world to f**k off!!

If you what a hug just ask and it give a you a hug, now rember this will this sh***y time right now with pass by and go away. Just be kind yourself thats my advice to my friend.

I'm sorry I don't know anything that might help you with your situation other than if someone sends you malicious PMs, don't hesitate to report them to the mods!

Good luck

Hey, I understand what you're saying about not enjoying sex. I have friends who are in a similar boat, and I understand why that could easily be the case. Do you enjoy touch? As for myself, I like relaxed exploration and being touched (I don't necessarily mean sexual touching), and I think the main pleasure in sexuality for many girls is touch. Any pressure to go further than I feel like going, expectation to do something I don't enjoy, or roughness, and I am immediately turned off. Being used as a blow up doll is the perfect example of this. I wouldn't give up on physical relations completely because of the "blow up doll" experience, I would perhaps look for someone who's more sensitive and open to stress free exploration (without expectations to even go all the way, or pressuring) and focused primarily on relaxation and mutual enjoyment as opposed to getting his rocks off.

(((((((hugs))))))))

It seems to me like you're getting overly stressed from online interactions with men who dwell on sexual topics and view women as walking vaginas. I think you might feel better if you took a mental-health break from that, and either only spoke to your female friends for a while or get off the computer and do some nurturing and calming things for yourself. Things like taking a walk in nature, drawing or painting or doing crafts if you're artistic, learning to knit if that's not too boring for you, looking at the constellations in the sky, or even learning how to identify the different flowers and trees in your neighbourhood. Feed your soul.

As for your sexual distress, people will of course suggest the most obvious things, or whatever has worked for them. If you've tried every suggestion already, perhaps you'll need to see a therapist specializing in sexuality. The problem you have may not be something you can self-cure through any advice on the internet. If most problems could be cured this way, there would be no such thing as paid therapists. I realize you can't afford that right now and that your parents won't approve of it, so you may have to be patient until you can get more independence from their rules.

I don't believe that online dating will be in your best interests at this time. This activity is always frustrating for everyone at the best of times, but for someone like you who's already in distress it is downright torturous. It's more likely to make you despise men than to find you a man. I know this is practically a cliche, but it's too true that you have to love and enjoy the temple of your own body before you can allow any other person to enter and enjoy it.

It depends. Sometimes I like touch and other times I don't. I hate being pressured. I feel like I have to give in but then it feels like rape. My ex was like that. We could never sit and watch a movie together or play videogames. It always lead to sex. It wouldn't be so bad if he didn't suck at it or let me on top every once in a while. Him and his dumb tiny Koreann penis. >.<



Sadly, thanks to the new Walmart 5 minutes from my house, I can't see the f*****g stars anymore. Thanks big business!

Well...there's one that I've tried but I can't get a master of. It's the age-old "relax." I haven't relaxed in years. I'm always tense. I can't focus enough to meditate either. *sigh* I wish I was better at that, then life wouldn't seem so stressful or I would be able to deal with it better.

I'm also using the site to find friends because I live too far away from my friends to visit on a regular basis. They're all an hour away or more. So I'm hoping to find friends that are closer to me too. So I don't want to give up on making friends. >.<

*hugs for you too*

Cdfox7 - Thanks. *hugs*

mmm...we had the chat before about relaxation and meditation, hows it got then?

it will take time to master I been doing it a while now & I still have problems staying focused all the time. Just keep at it with practice it with will get easer now. Describe the last time you felt relaxed, lets see if we find out when you did then that you can use now.

Now this tension give me some details on that, so I'll have a good idea what we can about that ((((hugs)))

I tried meditating last night...I fell asleep. XD

Last time I was relaxed, I was drunk. So that's a behavior I don't want to repeat. >.<

lol sorry hun I laughted reading about your mediation session, cos sleep is a form of deep mediation

Thats a good idea about that behaviour now...mmm what music do you listen to, lets seen if we can get the right type of music for you to be relaxed now

I guess so. Does that mean I was successful?

I listen to metal and things with a fast paced beat. Slow songs tend to bore me. XD

sorry can you please clarify this, is it you or your dog that has been howling and whining all day. or is this a post about you from your dog.

if you can clarify this, we maybe able to help your dog or your self. There does exist a collar you can put on your dog that will shut him up right away and though in humane. it is not inhuman in the way we first think when we hear about it ,

i would believe it can be used on humans to if they have a deep voice. So, weather it be you or your dog that need peace it should help.

Lol im just teasing,

I read you had issues with understanding guys, didnt read what the issues are but,

guys have 2 sides, especially aspie guys

1. There is the caring loving side which i believe is more caring then girls maybe

and then there is the

2 sexual side.

the 2 differ and at times contradict one another many times. This could be out of sexual frustration of womem not putting out (but thats for another post)

so #1 is good #2 usually not so good especially if it is not a long term relationship. (where teh girls would learn to keep #2 in check)

so its not that we are bastereds. or idiots . no, we have 2 sides and one is always good,

to understand us better it would be better to understand how these aspects of men interrelate.

why does some one start of as #1 go to #2 after a while. and what can be done to adjust this back

does some one that did some thing "bad " mean he is a bad guy?

does allowing #2 to come out mean a guy is bad?

is #2 controllable. if so by who? himself or the girl?

we maybe not as complex as girls. but we are not completely simple. less complex then girls.;less complex then high functioning NT's men are the easyest to understand.

We are not greedy.
we are not asses.
we like asses
we are kind.
caring
will help any one that asks
we are biased to help cute girls. (not a sexual thing, but a deep routed trait imposed by natural selection that dictates that cute girls will appreciate/reward/be nice in return for help. ) keep in mind that it is possible that cute women do actually posses theses traits as they are helped or talked to more often and through having many more social contact with men they may have learnt that men are not asses.. just like aspies are not asses and NT's are not asses.

the topic of racism could come in here but may be offensive to some. by deifnation, this is not racism. but i would refer it to racism more then sexist of steroetyp...

but racism is not a bad thing, well it is but not the fault of the "racist" one. not knowing how a certain type or thing works we generalize. NT= social.. not always true... Aspies = card counting .. not always true.. guys=jerks... not always true...

guys will always be what you women think we are (from there point of view). as women will always be what we men think you are (at least form our point of view). just as NT' are ruff characters always trying to get there way through manipulation just as aspies cant be on the work force unless they are scientist.

So is it up to you to learn who we are? or is it easier to wait for ..
us to show you who we really are, proving you (possibly) wrong?

hope this didnt come accross as offensive or picking on the OP..

just read a few lines of teh OP and thought that this may help some one who has found that they need to post on a thread complaining about men..

but i think this post was complaints in general.

maybe this is my way of compling about girls who dont understand us or me (maybe based on my spelling and puctuation lol )

meeemoi - My dog was howling like crazy, adding to my headache. That was the point.

Ahhh, your post is long. I don't have the attention span for this. Condensed version please? >.<

I was thinking you might be helped to both relax and to feel your body better through hypnotherapy. I was also going to suggest non-erotic professional massage, but I'm not sure if you'd like to be touched by a stranger, even in a totally non-sexual way. I know both these things also cost money which you don't have at the moment.

I have a very severe form of anxiety disorder (though mine has nothing to do with sexuality), so I do empathize with your difficulties and know how awful it is to never be able to relax.

I think part of the problem may be that men in your age bracket (20's) are essentially immature and hormone-driven. By the time they've reached my age bracket (40's) the majority of them have settled down and behave more decently, and don't have permanent raging erections. I have had better luck dating older men than younger ones.

for sleep yes for mediation no sorry to say. Well there a few you can about that one change the time of day you mediate try when you wake up in the morning and two you could give Yoga Nidra give a go its simply yoga mediation to help with sleeping.

Right about your music how do feel when your listening to them?
Also when you angry do you listen to your music?

Medium paced music is something you might what to look into, I listen to Baroque music which is medium paced its also alpha brain waves, I use Bach to helpj relax and also to distress am listing the Brandenburg Concertos as I type this.

Its alpha and theta brain waves your looking for in the music your to listen to help relax alpha wave music is a pace of about 60 beats per second theta is slower paced so might just want to stick with alpha wave music