gailryder17 wrote:
Today, we had graduation practice. After a while, we had a ten minute break. I followed my two friends around for a while and started wondering why I did this. I left them, sitting on the stairs. I asked myself "If they wanted to hang with me, why don't they come to me? Why do I have to initiate?" I realized this happened a lot. For some reason, I felt really hurt by this.
This warrants some thought. Maybe you've simply never given them the opportunity to come to you. Maybe your friends do their own thing and you follow. Maybe it's an indicator about how they perceive you in the friendship. Who knows.
gailryder17 wrote:
Also, I feel like this girl I like and I (if you see my other posts, you'll see I mention her quite a bit) don't talk much to each other. It's like we ran out of things to say. Another thing that bugs me is when she says "I'm fine. Go away." There's a specific tone she uses, as if she's pushing me away (maybe I'm overreacting. BTW, I doubt she does this intentionally). I know I shouldn't react like this, but I don't think "Oh, she's tired, I'll leave her alone". I do leave her alone, but I don't think "I won't take it personally" I think "Goddamit, quit saying that to me! You want me to leave, I'll leave. Doesn't feel so good, does it?" and I don't know why I react this way! Err, what's wrong with me?
Is there something about the way she says it that makes you think she doesn't mean it? When someone tells me they want me to go away, I usually take it to mean they want me to go away.
gailryder17 wrote:
I hate it when I want to be around her so I follow her around like a lost puppy and nothing comes of it, but when someone else grabs her attention, BOOM something actually happens! As I said earlier, it's like we ran out of things to say so we spend two seconds in silence. She tells me "Oh it's because we're both the quiet ones" (or something along those lines). Oh, please, the problem can't be that simple!
I remember we were on a podium near the edge and I jokingly said "You know, I'm tempted to push you off" she said "Well, you can, but I'll likely be angry and not talk to you for the rest of the school year" I said "you mean a couple of days" she replied, "these are the last few days we can talk to each other" (she's moving back to New York).
Sometimes I wish it was the other way around just so I could see how SHE would react, but I know she wouldn't react the same way I do. Sometimes I wish she would cry (I know this is wrong of me, but sometimes I just don't care) or at least undergo some of what I went through. This doesn't make any sense. Can someone shed light onto what I'm going through?
You're upset with her because she is not the person you want her to be. But likewise, you probably aren't the person she wants you to be.
14 Jun 2011, 10:11 pm
