mother claims that I just want label myself

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So, I just told my mother that I got myself diagnosed with as, she claims that the training courses she went on for support work told great every one could qualify for as and said I just want to label myself and went on to argue with me, now the shouting is ringing around head and I'm pretty depressed, I was happy about the whole thing, but now I don't know.

There will be parents that don't believe that AS is out there and there are parents that deny the fact. I use to hang out with a friend from church and for a summer he had to live with my family and more and more time I spent with him I started to see alot of AS traits along with OCD and my mom saw it to. The friends mom denied that he had AS and would refuse to get him diagnosed and then the friend also started to deny the fact that he could have AS.

I don't like parents are like this, I see it if you have AS go and learn More about it and learn how you can improve yourself.

Last edited by markitzero on 29 Jun 2011, 1:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Thats the thing, she's worked with people with autism, and she claims aspergers, but that was doing support work, she knows it's out there, but she's only worked with HFA and low functioning aspergers, as I've got older i've got very good at masking it.
I mean i know it's right, im going to trust my own, and a qualified psychologists judgement than that of my mother who has only done a few short training courses, It's just the last place I expect this sort of intolerance from.

I can't stand either people who say anyone could qualify as having AS, or those who are so against 'labelling'.

Is your mother totally closed to the idea of learning more about AS?
If you are AS then you are AS, denying that her daughter has AS either comes from fear or ignorance - both are combated with information, so if she's willing to learn more try to get her a book or print-off some information for her, ask her why she feels this way and why she feels you are not AS or that you are like others.

For now she is closed to reading more, she claims to know all she needs to already thanks to the courses i mentioned, but yeh I guess you are right,
she takes everything personally.

and just for the record I'm a he, no offence taken xD

lol, sorry, I do that FAR too often on this forum

No need to worry, It's hard to tell through text and it amused me, I used to have long hair, so It's not the first time it's happened to me.

She's probably engaging in Mama Bear defensive behavior. She doesn't want anyone saying anything negative about her son and that includes you!

Maybe graciously back off for, say, a couple of weeks and see how it goes?

It's not the first time I mentioned it, she managed to put me off getting diagnosed the first time. I think I might just have to accept that she will not accept it.

I think I'd gave got a better response if I said I was gay =\

My mum doesn't believe i have AS. An official diagnosis should help, and I plan to send her a copy of "the complete guide to aspergers syndrome" and highlight all the bits that apply to me.

To be honest though, my mum is pretty self centered, so I doubt she really noticed I was different. She treats me like I'm a 3 year old child - tells me off for not smiling, why I constantly look sad (its just my normal face), etc. Suffice to say, I have distanced myself from her. (I haven't lived at home for over 14 years now)

I do wonder if parents refuse to accept a diagnosis as they mistakenly think they could have caused it (due to neglect\bad parenting etc)

Yes, or feelings of guilt due to believing they have not sought appropriate help for their children. I try to reassure my mother that she did the very best she could for me.

You're her son, and if you're pretty high functioning, she probably doesn't see that there's anything wrong with you; in her mind your personality is just you- and once the shine of the diagnosis wears off you might actually be glad of that.

Orr and Kahlua make good points.

If you explain to your mum (when you're both calmer) why you sought the diagnosis and what you plan to do with it now she may understand more. Most people do have AS symptoms to some extent and you could theoretically make anyone tick the boxes, but since you've gone to the effort of getting it done she could at least listen to you.

I've just given up on her, she doesn't have to understand, it doesn't change anything either way.

I agree that its most likely due to not wanting to be seen as a bad parent among other things, seem as she has kicked me out several times
when I was younger, she probably would have rather disiplined a bad child, than a confused one.

I disagree that everyone will fit into the diagnostic criteria though, maybe if everyone self diagnosed based on a having a few of the traits, but
to compare having a few similar traits, to the full condition is like comparing a bad day to having depression.

just sucks that i'm stuck at home for now.

I know the feeling. After living on my own all the way from 1985 to 2008, I have been back living with my parents since Oct. 2008. And it has been difficult at times. I have had some jobs, but no really good jobs. Well, it's a tough market out there. I'm going to continue looking.